The ancient Romans’ phrase “nomen est omen” translates to “the name is an omen.” Historians love pointing out that, in 70 B.C., a Roman official, whose last name meant “male swine,” was found guilty of acts of plundering and extortion. The prosecutor in his trial was the legendary orator Cicero, who argued that the official’s conduct “confirmed his name.” The name game was on!
A 1994 New Scientist magazine cited an article noting that scientists and writers often seem to focus on subjects that reflect their names. Fun example? A British Journal of Urology article about incontinence was authored by A.J. Splatt and D. Weedon. A reader of that article coined the term nominative determinism.
How about names predicting professions? Is a Dennis or a Denise more likely to become a dentist? Jimmy Kimmel once interviewed four people whose names perfectly matched their jobs. Get ready to giggle! They included volunteer firefighter Les McBurney, dentist Dr. Chip Silvertooth, contractor Paul Schwinghammer, and gynecologist Dr. Lauren Hyman.
Then came a trio of articles arguing that people’s names not only influenced their professions but where they moved and whom they married. They argue the people are drawn to towns and streets with names similar or identical to their own. They marry individuals with their same name. Hmmm! We do know one person who married another with the same last name, but we want to see more research on that one!
Many names are inspired by nature. Summer, Autumn, and Winter come to mind, although Winter is a dog. Okay, we know Lilies, Daisys, and Poppys. We have been spared Daffodils, Tulips, and Hydrangeas. Other than Clementine, fruits haven’t gained much traction. Don’t forget colors: Rose, Violet, and Scarlett. Luckily no Maroon, Purple, or Umber!
Parents even name their kids after cities. Think Augusta, Austin, Florence, Lincoln, Memphis, Orlando, Savannah, and Troy. Ah, maybe they just hope their kids will go places, see things, and change the world.
Pet names (for humans)! Interestingly, research shows that couples who use pet names are actually happier in their relationships. We get babe, honey, hun, sweetie pie, and sugar. But, the trendy bae and boo?? Had to learn those for crossword puzzles. Again, we are not part of that demographic. That’s a euphemism for…we’re old.
It is said that sticks and stones can break your bones, but names can never hurt you. This rhyme helps kids cope with name-calling. Let’s give it another take. Try Reginald Kenneth Dwight, Margaret Mary Emily Anne Hyra, Eric Marlon Bishop, and Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner. Would you pay top dollar to see any of these names? But, how about Elton John, Meg Ryan, Jamie Foxx, or Sting? Maybe changing names isn’t such a bad idea.
It’s common for a son to have Jr. after his name to distinguish him from his father. An historian explains that back in the daywomen were invisible in town records because they didn’t own property. But when dad passed his property to his son, it needed to be clear in probate and deed records who was who.
We didn’t remember that the only daughter of President Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Anna Eleanor Roosevelt was named Anna Eleanor Roosevelt Jr. Carolina Herrera Jr. designs fragrances for her mother, the fashion designer. Yes!
So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today: Don’t be superstitious. We doubt any name will really guide the grandkids’ destinies. But, do urge your kids to do some homework before naming your grandchild. Mallory became popular in the 1980s thanks to Mallory Keaton in Family Ties. But its meaning is “unfortunate” or “unlucky.” The name Claudia is derived from the Latin word meaning “lame” or “crippled.” Kick those maverick names to the curb! In a crunch, there’s always …well…Hope!
Wrinkled Wisdom 