Wrinkled Wisdom – The Back Stories

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We all know George Washington didn’t chop down a cherry tree. What we didn’t know is that this myth was invented by one of his biographers, an itinerant minister and bookseller who just wanted to sell books. The myth amplifies young George’s honesty when challenged by his father. “I cannot tell a lie….”  Dad rejoices in his honesty underscoring the biographer’s strategy to present Washington as a perfect role model for young Americans. Creating a lie to amplify Washington’s honesty? Isn’t that a bit ironic?

We know Marie Antoinette didn’t say “let them eat cake.” It was reportedly the queen’s nasty, oblivious retort when told her starving peasant subjects had no bread. The philosopher who wrote the phrase attributed it only to “a great princess,” when Marie Antoinette was just a kid. Historians guess that revolutionaries attributed the quote to her to provoke opposition to the monarchy. Oh, and in French, the quote translates to…let them eat brioche. Brioche is a bread! Okay, it can be a bit sweet. But.

We know that Edison didn’t invent light bulbs. They existed before Edison was even born! Edison’s invention improved on work by Joseph Swan, a British chemist, who developed a more affordable light bulb. Swan then adopted Edison’s improved filament. Edison sued Swan. Swan sued Edison. Then a light bulb went off in their heads. The two joined forces, forming Edison-Swan United, which became one of the largest light bulb manufacturers in the world.

Legend has it that an Austrian nobleman forced townsfolks to uncover their heads in homage when royalty walked by. Oops! William Tell supposedly kept his hood on one day, ticking off the duke’s bailiff. The punishment? Shoot an apple off your son’s noggin or off with both of your heads. Whew! Tell pulled that off. He also is rumored to have assassinated a duke, encouraging open rebellion, and has long been considered the father of the Swiss Confederacy. Pretty momentous reputation for someone who isn’t even real!

Okay, the Swiss got democracy and we all got the William Tell Overture. The music has been in dramatically different films—Walt Disney’s Mickey Mouse cartoon The Band Concert and the violent movie A Clockwork Orange. We’re old.  But we aren’t old enough to have watched The Band Concert. Guess the overture is as malleable as the myth.

Even the revered poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow rewrote history. In his poem, Paul Revere’s Ride, he wanted to create an inspiring message—that one man, in pursuit of a noble cause, really can make a difference. In Revere’s case, the start of the Revolutionary War. Historians say the poem has only one flaw: it is inaccurate in almost every way. Revere never shouted “the British are coming!” as he rode from town to town. He had to be discreet because British troops were hiding out in the Massachusetts countryside. He wasn’t waiting for the two church tower lanterns to be lit to signal the British were coming by sea. He knew that before he left Boston. They were a fallback alert in case he could not get out of Boston. And, Revere did not ride alone that night. Other than that!

We are sad to report that Chinese fortune cookies were first created in Japan then redesigned and baked by Japanese Americans. The Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor resulted in the internment of Japanese Americans. No more Japanese bakeries! Chinese American entrepreneurs saw an opening and began to produce and sell the cookies. Oh, in China, they are considered American. Who else would play those lucky numbers often found on the cookies in lotteries? Think twice, China, American players have used those numbers to win over $400 million in lotteries since 2004. 

Other myths dispelled? Big disappointment when we learned Buddha wasn’t fat and Vikings didn’t wear horns on their helmets. We are pretending we don’t know. We prefer to enjoy “Hagar the Horrible” and rotund Buddhas. And, George Washington Carver didn’t invent peanut butter. Credit the Incas and Aztecs. He did discover over 300 uses for peanuts, including shampoo, shaving cream, and glue. Huh???? Most importantly, he promoted a crop rotation system that increased yields and improved nutrients and organic matter in the soil. We love this guy.

Know that it is not a myth that tongue prints are going to be the new thing. Yes, tongue prints. Bad guys use acid to burn their fingers, erase their fingerprints, and evade identification. The notorious bank robber John Dillinger did it in the 1930s. Not a new thing! Doubt that bad guys will burn their tongues. Tongue prints, apparently, are more reliable than fingerprints and even better than retinal scans. In Colorado, we are fingerprinted for drivers’ license renewals to check if we have a criminal history. Will we soon be sticking our tongues out at DMV staff???

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today? Some myths and legends are harmless. The ones that last are too fun, and too convenient, to kill. Wear your Viking’s helmet with horns proudly. Play those fortune cookie lucky numbers. You never know. If a myth is worth the moral, tell it with your fingers crossed behind your back. Oh, and keep your tongues clean just in case.

Wrinkled Wisdom – Good Taste…Bad Taste…Fading Taste

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We’ve all been complimented on our good taste for something we’ve done or donned.  We easily recognize when something is in bad taste.  Fading taste?  It’s the term for the unhappy news that, as we age, our taste buds fade. 

Have you noticed that some of your favorite foods just don’t seem to taste the same?   Women can start losing their taste buds in their 40s.  For men, fading taste buds can happen in their 50s.  Salty and sweet flavors tend to decline first.  Bummer!  Love sugary desserts.  That sure explains why we’re dousing our fries with more salt and spooning more sugar into our morning coffee or tea.

We all, of course, assume our taste buds are on the tongue.  Yup!  Most of them.  But you can’t see them.  They are nestled within the visible bumps on the tongue called papillae.  We’ve got more taste buds in our throats and upper esophagi.  The papillae not only protect our taste buds; their rough texture helps with chewing and swallowing. 

Each of us could have once bragged about having 2,000 and 10,000 taste buds.  Not today!  Our buds have a short lifespan and are typically replaced every week or two.  This regenerative process slows down as we age, causing fading taste. 

Bet you can’t name the five basic tastes.  There’s sweet (a personal favorite), sour, salty, bitter, and umami.  Umami?  Got you on that one!  It describes a savory, meaty, or broth-like flavor.  It was named by a Japanese chemist who discovered the distinct taste of kombu, a seaweed broth, in 1908.  That’s over 100 years ago!  Could we consider renaming it, please??

Lately there has been discussion about adding fat and calcium to the big basic five.  There is reportedly significant scientific evidence supporting their independent detection by the tongue.  Think chicken fat, also known as schmaltz.  Hmmm.  Yes, the same word you may have used to describe an overly sappy love scene in a movie.  Some of us rank schmaltz higher than butter.  And, about calcium.  Interestingly, not talking about dairy products.  Can’t taste calcium in milk, for example.  Talking about veggies like collard greens and kale. 

You might be thinking, why isn’t spicy a taste?  That’s because the compounds in spicy foods activate pain and temperature receptors in the mouth, not taste buds.  They trick the brain into thinking it’s experiencing a burning sensation.  Eating spicy foods doesn’t make you tougher…. maybe just a sensation seeker??

Some people are supertasters.  They have a higher concentration of taste buds. Supertasters are born, not made.  It’s genetic.  But it isn’t all fun.  They have an aversion to bitter foods like coffee, dark chocolate, and certain vegetables.  Sorry about the chocolate.

Loss of taste is called ageusia.  It can cause loss of appetite.  Guess that’s a positive if you want to lose weight.  It’s a negative in terms of nutritional intake, which can lead to a decline in health.  As taste fades, some of us start eating more salty, sweet, and fatty foods that boost flavor.  Not a good idea.  That increases the risk of diabetes and cardiovascular disease.  We should ditch our Cheese Puffs?  Oh, no!

Taste buds also protect us.  Tastes wrong?  Mouth says spit it out.  Could be dangerous.  Remember, it’s not an excuse to spit out food at the dinner table just because you don’t like it.

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Emphasize good oral hygiene and stay hydrated.  Use of tongues for identification is being investigated because lawbreakers often alter their fingerprints to hide their criminal records from law enforcement.  Can’t sandpaper your tongue!  Like fingerprints, no two tongue prints are the same.  So, brush your tongue and gargle unless you are planning to rob a bank!  And, thankfully, as we age, we will still have four important taste buds left: vodka, wine, cheese, and chocolate.

Wrinkled Wisdom – Carping about Ads Again!

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Advertisements.  They are everywhere and more intrusive than ever!   Researchers say the average person is exposed to 4,000 to 10,000 advertisements every day.  What???  Television and radio commercials.  Newspapers.  Magazines.  Direct mail.  Billboards.  Internet advertising has grown by leaps and bounds.  Social media nowadays feels like a shopping mall.

This constant targeting has created a phenomenon known as “consumer marketing fatigue.”  Two-thirds of us don’t watch TV ads.  We mute the ads, switch to another channel, or just leave the room.  Have you ever been scrolling through your favorite blog or reading a news article online when suddenly a pop-up ad invades your screen?  Can’t hit that X and delete fast enough.

Interestingly, it’s print magazines that still get the attention of their niche audience. Magazines deliver a higher return on advertising spending across all media, averaging a $3.94 return on every dollar spent.  Whoopie!  But, that’s five percent higher than all other categories. 

And, lately it’s hard to find a good ad.  Even Super Bowl ads haven’t been that entertaining.  Okay, we did get a kick out of the WeatherTech commercial this year.  It featured four “golden girls” speeding along in a vintage 1963 Lincoln Continental convertible, singing Steppenwolf’s “Born to Be Wild.”  The gist?   WeatherTech’s floor mats are designed for real-life messes and adventures.

The Charmin bears need to go.  Bears’ butts are not that cute and the whole shtick is stale.  GEICO’s gecko is no longer appealing.  Giving the gecko a new look, a cowboy hat and fake mustache, is supposed to grab us?  Nope!

Commercials featuring LiMu the emu are driving people insane, if Reddit postings are any indication.  LiMu is a shortened form of the company’s name, Liberty Mutual.  Posts complain that the commercials are dumb and feature the worst jingle.  Time for LiMu to retire and go back to the farm?

Probably the most irritating and possibly harmful are the drug ads.  The FDA commissioner says these ads “are filled with dancing patients, glowing smiles, and catchy jingles that drown out the fine print” and “distract by design.”  Viewers often self-diagnosis, leading to inappropriate use of medications, increased healthcare costs, and even adverse health effects. 

Then there is the required, exhaustive list of side effects ubiquitous with every TV ad for prescription drugs.  Fatal throat swelling.  Deadly allergic reactions.  Liver damage.  And, you expect us to ask our doctor to prescribe this drug??

We do get a kick out of Valpak, a direct marketing company that mails out coupons featuring local business.  They now randomly include three $100 checks monthly as an incentive to get us all to open the envelope and skim through the ads, hoping to find a check.  They don’t want you to know that their mailings go to over 41 million homes.  Like those odds??

Some of the grossest TV ads are the ones for personal products.  The full body spray deodorants?  At least they embarrass both men and women.  It can be awkward to be with the younger grandkids when they pop up.  Quick channel change!  Muting doesn’t hide the cringey visuals.

We did giggle at a comment from one marketing expert who insists that there is a great deal of advertising that is much better than the product.  “When that happens, all that the good advertising will do is put you out of business faster.”

So, our wrinkled wisdom for today?  Check with family to find out who knows how to block ads on your phone and computer.  Great if you can record your favorite TV programs and skip the ads.  Have the book you are reading or the crossword puzzle ready when you mute those ads.  Kill those 12 to 17 minutes of ads each hour with something fun!

P.S.  For our entertainment, share with us the ads that irritate you most…that’s if you are actually watching, listening to, or reading any!

Wrinkled Wisdom – Good Hair, Good Mood, Good Day

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In our youth, hippies—including some of us—sported long hair as a symbol of rebellion.  The 1967 musical Hair tells the story of the movement’s nonconformity, sexual revolution, and loathing for the Vietnam War and its horrifying draft lottery.  Young men waited in immense anxiety and fear as birthdates were pulled from a bin, mandating who would be forced to put on a uniform and cut off that long hair!

A line from Hair’s title song is our mantra today: “Give me a head with hair.” 

Hair is important!  It plays an essential role in regulating body temperature.  It’s linked to self-confidence and self-esteem, intimating youthfulness in women and virility in men.

Wow.  Statistics indicate that women commonly start experiencing hair loss between the ages of 40 and 50.  For men, it’s worse!  Hair loss can start in their late teens.  A quarter of all men show signs of male pattern baldness by age 30 and those numbers hit 50% by age 50.  Hair-raising stats!!!!  Covid didn’t help; caused hair shedding.  And, there’s even a term for those of us losing hair or balding.  We are follically-challenged. 

So, what are we ladies to do??  AI thinks the bob is the best haircut for 70-year-old and older women.  Our movie star idols sure agree.  Gone are their long tresses.  Most now have a “curly” bob.  A son recently commented at dinner that his mom’s new bob was an old lady “do.”  He was right.  But, no dessert for him!

Men can get away with shaving their heads and looking cool.  A comb over?  NEVER!  They can grow facial hair to distract from their baldness.  Forget the facial hair option for we women! 

We always thought having our hair cut often would make it grow faster.  Nope!  Also thought rigorous brushing would stimulate blood flow to the scalp and boost hair growth.  Nope!  Neither is true.  In fact, brushing causes friction, leading to cuticle damage and hair breakage.

The global market for hair loss treatment products was about $10 billion in 2024.  Yikes!  Americans obviously aren’t the only ones who are paranoid about losing their hair!  Rogaine.  Propecia.  Something called Peptides??  Can’t forget the supplements—vitamins, minerals, and herbal blends.  The FDA has even approved several low-level laser devices to restore hair.  One company sells a cap with lasers inside for $1,699.00!  We didn’t budget for that.

There are shampoos, conditioners, serums, and oils galore that claim to promote hair growth.  Some even contain caffeine.  No, having your cup of coffee in the morning won’t help hair growth, but there are studies indicating that applying caffeine topically could be beneficial.  Taking a pass on that. 

Then there is PRP, platelet-rich plasma. A doctor takes your blood, which is processed to concentrate platelets, and then injects it into your scalp.  OUCH!  Don’t forget hair plugs.  Well, not the old kind of plugs that are passe due to their unnatural appearance, scarring, and limited density!  Doctors now offer FUE or FUT hair grafts.  Know your stuff before the doc pulls out the scalpel.

With these countless products on the market to grow hair, you would think that if one delivered miracle results, we would all know about it.  Oh, the thing experts do agree on?   Loosen that ponytail!!  Excessive pulling and tension on the hair shaft causes hair loss. So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Brush your hair just a tad.  Don’t wash it daily.  Counterintuitively, start using baby shampoo.  Eat omega-3 foods…nuts, fish, and avocados.  Yes, wigs are a last resort but hats work on bad hair days.  When out for drinks, have a friend keep an eye on that “hot spot” in the back of your head and have a comb handy.   You know what we’re talking about.  Remember, you can’t control everything—your hair was put on your head to emphasize that!

Wrinkled Wisdom:  A High Five for Old Time Rock n’ Roll

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Recent deaths of vocalists and musicians from our generation brought back fond memories.  Obits included Ozzy Osbourne, the lead singer of Black Sabbath.  A Denver Rockies Hall of Famer chose Ozzy’s “Crazy Train” as his “walk-up” song when he was on the team, hoping that as it played as he strode to the batting box it would rattle the pitcher.

Marianne Faithfull’s first hit, “As Tears Go By,” was written by the Rolling Stone’s Mick Jagger and Keith Richards   Helped that she was dating Jagger.  Wayne Osmond, the second oldest in the Osmond Brothers band, cashed it in this year as well.  Connie Francis was the first woman to have a No. 1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 as a solo artist.  “Who’s Sorry Now?”  We are!!  We miss you all!

We were spoiled.  We danced and sang along with The Beatles, Elvis Presley, Janis Joplin,  Simon & Garfunkel, the Rightous Brothers, Fleetwood Mac, David Bowie, the Grateful Dead, Carly Simon, The Supremes, Tina Turner, Chicago, Carole King, Marvin Gaye, and more, and more, and more.

Think back.  What LPs did you own that you bought again and again when vinyl died and the format moved to cassette tapes and then to CDs?   One of ours was Pink Floyd’s 1973 album Dark Side of the Moon—often named as one of the greatest albums of all time.  Love their song “Money” that mocks greed and consumerism and entertains with the sound of cash registers and clinking coins.  Still so current except for the cash registers.

Remember the 70s disco era?  Disco bars featured flashing lights, including strobe lights.  There are still bars that describe themselves as discos today.  Not bothering to check them out.  The lights could give us vertigo.

But, still listen to the Bee Gees.  They were one of the groups that dominated the disco era.  Their music contributed significantly to the movie Saturday Night Fever.  One of the film’s most popular was their hit song “Stayin’ Alive.”  Hmmm.  Maybe we should adopt that as our generation’s theme song??   

Remember American Bandstand hosted by Dick Clark?  We were lucky.  We lived in New Jersey and watched it on a local TV station once it debuted in Philadelphia in 1952.  In those days, the big, three networks considered rock n’ roll outside the cultural mainstream and not marketable.  Wrong!  It premiered nationally in 1957 as part of ABC’s afternoon lineup.  Teenagers showed off the latest dance moves to Top 40 songs and popular musical acts lip-synced to one of their latest hit singles. 

Oh, and remember when we all tuned in to watch Elvis Presley on The Ed Sullivan Show?  His suggestive hip movements caused an uproar and parents called him a “youth-corrupting” musician.  The compromise?   He could appear on television but only be filmed from the waist up.  No hip shots on Ed’s show for Elvis the Pelvis, his nickname.

Multiple studies today indicate a growing preference for older music and dislike for music that’s popular today.  Critics point to increased loudness and repetition; angrier, anti-social sentiments; the rising use of digital audio tools; and the lack of depth, originality, and musicianship.  Giggling.  Bob Seger’s “Old Time Rock and Roll” included the line “today’s music ain’t got the same soul.”  And that was in 1978!

Aren’t there some rock singers and groups we could enjoy today, we thought?  So, we searched the top 40 hits and knew only one of them…Coldplay.  But we know their name because the fan cam at their July concert caught a couple, who aren’t a couple, canoodling and created quite the scandal!  We just chuckled and started humming Chaka Khan’s 1984 song “Caught in the Act.”

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Ask the grandkids to give you a CD of one of today’s popular rock n’ roll groups so we can get with it…a learning experience for both of us.   Do they even know what CD is???  And, yes, most of us oldies still have our aging CD players.  Preset all the local stations on your car radio that play only music from our era.  Makes driving so much more enjoyable.  Come on baby, let’s do the twist!

Wrinkled Wisdom:  A Lesson in Slang

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Walt Whitman described slang as “…imagination and humor, breathing into its nostrils the breath of life.”  Guardians of standard English roll their eyes and bemoan slang’s degrading impact.  They are ignored.  Slang has long permeated everyday speech.  Heck, there is even an Oxford Dictionary of Modern Slang that includes over 6,000 slang words and expressions from the 20th and 21st centuries.

Each generation creates its own unique slang.  This informal language conveys meaning quickly and expressively.   It establishes a sense of community among its speakers and listeners.   As someone once said, “Slang is like a secret handshake.  If you understand it, you’re in the club.” 

Remember saying we “dig it” to describe something we really liked.  You never wanted to be a square, our term for someone uncool.  That would be a bummer!  A fink was a snitch and we called the television the boob tube. 

In our youthful 1960s and 1970s, hippie slang was in.  Groovy.  Far out.  Cool.  Flower power.   “Cool” has had staying power.   Cool!

Cannabis was a symbol of hippie rebellion.  Yikes, remember Woodstock?  Our slang for marijuana was dope—one syllable not four.  We were recently politely critiqued by a young man for using the word dope.  Showing our age, apparently.   The kids refer to it as weed.  Who cares.  If we oldies are using cannabis products, it’s probably for medical reasons!  Oh, and the word dope in slang now means cool or awesome. 

Giggled reading AARP’s article titled: A Guide to Understanding Today’s Slang: We deciphered some key phrases to help you understand your grandkids.

We’ve got a few down.  OMG often conveys our feelings very effectively.  We type LOL in response to a fun text from a friend.  We really are often laughing out loud.  But, LOL, we are not going to buy that tee shirt sporting the catchy phrase: “I’m a TMI Enjoyer…You Can Never Tell Me Too Much.”  Though, admit it.  Some TMI can be very entertaining!   Didn’t know that in the 1960s a San Francisco Chronicle columnist popularized LOL as an acronym for “little old lady.”  Don’t tell the grandkids!

But, that’s about it.   Other acronyms?  IYKYK stands for “if you know, you know.”  FOMO?  Fear of missing out.  GOAT?  Greatest of all time.  Then there is fit— short for outfit.  Lit?  Something that is amazing or exciting.  Gucci reportedly means cool or going well.  That one surprised us.  Do kids even know it’s a luxury brand that’s hard on the pocketbook?  Wait.  Maybe the slang originated with the rapper Gucci Mane??  Yes.  We know.  Never heard of him either.

Knowing today’s slang doesn’t just facilitate communicating with the grandkids.  Better pay attention if you want to finish a crossword puzzle these days!  Puzzles are skewing younger.  Phat?  It will be clued as something that is very attractive or appealing.  Bae is your main squeeze in modern lingo and the answer in many recent puzzles.  We got ticked when a recent puzzle clued an answer as meaning agreement or relatable in slang.  Mood??  Huh??  We were in no mood for that.   

Surprised to learn that the word “mother” today doesn’t always mean…well, mother.  Gen Z, 13-28-year-olds, use it as slang to describe someone they admire or respect.  A positive!  Maybe its source is the drag culture, where “mother” has long been used to affectionately refer to the people who inspired them and/or their personas.  Remember RuPaul, an American drag queen, television host, singer, and actor, wrote the hit dance song “Call Me Mother”??

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Quiz the grandkids about any slang you should be up on.  Doubt you’ll want to add any of it to your vocabulary, but knowledge is power!  When the grandkids use slang around you, just laugh and say “you really slay me!”  It’s common slang today as it was in the 70s and 80s.  So, you should feel comfortable spouting the phrase.  We’re still with it!

Wrinkled wisdom – Stop and Smell the Roses!

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Great advice!  We should all take moments to relax and appreciate the simple pleasures and beauty of life.  And, this metaphorical reminder underscores the importance of the sense of smell.  Though smell sure has some contrasting definitions.  The positives?  Aroma, fragrance, scent, bouquet, perfume.  The nose-holding negatives?  Stench, stink, rank, putrefaction, funk, malodor.  Think bakeries versus dumpsters. 

You literally want to hold your nose when eating out, sitting in the movies or on an airplane, when someone nearby is reeking of perfume or aftershave—the classic good smell gone bad.  And then there’s… flatulence, which is more likely to happen on the plane ride because of the lower pressure that makes our ears pop and our body’s gasses expand.  Perhaps reconsider your preboarding food choices.

There is much written about how many senses we have, but sense of smell is definitely an important one.  It was the first sense to emerge.  Researchers say it’s some 1.5 billion years old, when complex life forms began to appear and earth may have smelled like rotten eggs due to hydrogen sulfide belched by microbes.  Want to survive, eat, and mate?   Learn to smell—foe, food, and friend.  Interestingly, smell is strongest at night.  So, certain fragrances can contribute to better sleep.  Fresh sheets???  A winner.

Smell is extremely important when it comes to attraction between two people. Body odor, produced by the genes that make up our immune system, influences our perceptions of others.  Some scientists think kissing evolved from sniffing and tasting the other person to test if they really are a match.  So, we base selection of our mate based on smell?  Yup!  Pretty much!  Wonder why smell hasn’t been noted in divorce proceedings?  The grounds for “no-fault” divorces should include loss of…the smell!

We are entertained by the personality traits indicated by a person’s favorite scents.  If you are drawn to fruity scents, you are likely to have a positive outlook and be spontaneous.  A preference for floral scents suggests you are confident, ambitious, and a high achiever.  People who are drawn to pine and fir scents are reportedly visionaries, thinkers and intellectuals.  Lovers of earthy scents like ginger and fennel are loyal, honest, easy-going, and adventurous.  If you like the smell of herbs, you are well-mannered, empathetic, and generous.  If the smell of exotic spices turns you on, you may appear introverted but are self-assured with a zealous appreciation of life.   But, can you be a mix and how does this mesh with sun signs?

Smell is also closely linked with memory.  Smells can bring back both positive and negative memories of loved ones, special events…or throwing up in church.  Cinnamon might remind you of a particular Christmas.  The smell of apple pie could tap memories of dinners with your grandparents when you were a kid.

The perfume industry has long developed fragrances that convey a vast array of emotions and feelings.  Perfumes can act like time machines.  Cotton Candy de Dua is a fragrance that really smells like…no surprise…cotton candy, which reminds us of those wonderful summers we spent as kids walking the boardwalk at the New Jersey shore.  Bottom line, we’d rather eat it than wear it!

Losing your sense of smell is a bummer.  Really affects your mood and even quality of life.  And, some bad news.  As we age our sense of smell can fade as those olfactory nerves degenerate.  On no!  Gone will be that sentimental pathway to memories.  Oh, but there’s an upside—Benjamin Franklin’s old adage that is still popular today: “Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.”  Guess loss of smell could make the relatives’ weeklong visit much more fun!

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Smell the roses; smell the coffee.  Whatever makes you happy.  Remember: the nose knows, literally.  So, keep it clean, literally.  Choose your perfume or aftershave carefully and use it judiciously.  Shoot for the memory of an elephant and their sense of smell.  Those trunks are modified noses and, not surprisingly, incredibly powerful.   And, finally, as J. Paul Getty said: “Money is like manure.  You have to spread it around or it smells.”  So, be generous.

Wrinkled Wisdom – Are You Aiming to be a Centenarian?

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Getting old sucks!  Hear that often.  So why do almost 70% of adults want to live to be 79 to 100 years old and 9% gleefully hope to past 100??  Okay!  Okay!  We get it!  You want to brag about being centenarian. 

Most people won’t get their wish.  After the dip in lifespans due to Covid and the obesity epidemic, studies say we can now expect to live 77.5 years.  Heck.  That isn’t even old!  The number of Americans expected to reach 100 and older in thirty years, 2054, is only 422,000.  Today’s U.S. population is a bit over 340 million people.  Bad odds. 

We’re addicted obit readers.  We’re curious about the deceased’s age and cause of death.  89?  Not bad. 76? Too early.  56. Damn.  Actor Val Kilmer, 65, pneumonia.  Bummer!  Celebrities who made it to 100 or more include Kirk Douglas and George Burns.  Wow, Olivia de Havilland lived to be 104!  Like de Havilland’s obit, the cause of death is often not mentioned.  Obvious.  Old age!

No matter how long we live, we want to stay healthy.  And, boy, advice is everywhere…podcasts, television, streaming, radio, print, TikTok, and TED Talks.  We like the Power 9.  It was developed by a researcher who studied cities around the world with the oldest populations, dubbed the Blue Zones.  Only one was in the United States, Linda Loma, CA.   Hmmm…it is home to the cancer-fighting Proton Therapy Treatment & Research Center.

Power 9 recommendations are based on the lifestyle habits of these healthiest, longest living people.  We’re all in on the first of the nine: move naturally.  No pumping iron.  No gym memberships needed.  Just do house and yard work and plant gardens.  Yes!

Next, have some purpose.  Give your life meaning.  Knowing your sense of purpose is worth up to seven years of extra life expectancy.  Work on that one!   Thirdly, downshifting is suggested.  Yikes.  Didn’t know that stress leads to chronic inflammation associated with every major age-related disease!  Of the suggested ways to mellow out, we’ll take naps and do happy hours.  

All the Blue Zone inhabitants follow the 80% Rule.  It arises from a Confucian mantra that calls for stopping eating when 80% full.  Hmmm.  Maybe we’ll start with dessert?   Next is Plant Slant.  Yes, we all know we should eat more fresh fruits and vegetables.

Wine @ 5!  Love this one!  These oldies drink…every day.  Lots of wine.  But no drinking alone or to excess.  Hang out with friends.  So, booze is the answer? 

Belong.  Blue Zone people seek community.  Think senior centers, card clubs, Mahjong, arts and crafts, book clubs, and dance classes.  You CAN teach old dogs new tricks.  Dance classes are a twofer—they also hit the number one dictum: keep moving.  Lastly, loved ones first.  Friends and groups can be family, too.  But, hey, why no mention in the Power 9 of a good night’s sleep??

Switzerland boasts that it has numbers of retreats where they can teach longevity techniques and feed you anti-aging foods.  Hmmm.  We can eat berries, leafy greens, fatty fish, nuts, and avocados anywhere!  You can also travel to Switzerland if you have dementia, hopefully have checked off your bucket list, and want to call it a day.  Canada is the euthanasia capital of the world…and it’s a cheaper plane trip.  Here in the U.S., Death with Dignity is only allowed in some states if you have a terminal illness.

Got a giggle reading that an endangered giant tortoise at the Philadelphia Zoo has just become a first-time mom at around 100 years old.  The zoo thinks dad is about 96.  Geez!  How do they live so long?  They have strong immune responses and suppress cancer cells.  Ahh…good genes!

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Put living to be a centenarian on your to-do list if you want to take a shot.  Start saving for those many tooth implants you’ll need.  Insurance doesn’t cover the entire cost and they cost a bunch.  Don’t give up dark chocolate!  It provides important antioxidants, whatever they really are.  And, remember George Burns’ fun line:  “By the time you’re 80 years old you’ve learned everything.  You only have to remember it.”

Wrinkled Wisdom – Profanity: Do We Give a Damn?

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We all remember watching a rerun of Gone with the Wind in which Rhett Butler’s last words to Scarlett O’Hara are: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”  Historians say the filmmakers had to fight very hard to keep that line in the 1939 movie.  Wow!  Damn.  How daring! 

Fifty years ago, the comedian George Carlin was arrested for disorderly conduct after he performed his classic bit, “Seven Words You Can’t Say on Television,” at a festival.  Charges were dropped and his popularity popped! 

Heck, swearing has been around for centuries.  Just check out the bible’s Colossians 3:8: “Cast off and throw away all these rotten garments of anger, hatred, cursing, and dirty language.” 

Today, cursing is just coursing through our society.  Words once too blue to be uttered publicly have become increasingly commonplace.  Okay, not some of Carlin’s seven words.  Researchers say it’s part of a shift to a more casual lifestyle and the way people communicate on social media.  About one in every 10 words on Twitter, now known as X, is a swear word. 

And, there’s a significant increase in explicit and unfiltered language in movies, streaming services, and TV shows.  Some dirty words do get bleeped on TV.

No more euphemisms or coy acrobatics like freaking, frigging, and fricking!  Really?  “Damn” and “hell” are now in newspaper comic strips. 

News organizations started relaxing their style guides on profanity about 10 years ago.  We’re entertained by changes to one style manual on cursing.  It spells out the proper style for f—up as a noun and a verb and f—ed-up as an adjective.  It has spellings for s— list, s—storm, s—show, and s—hole.  In case you are curious, s— talk has a space when used as a noun, but a hyphen when used as a verb.  Last month, Vanity Fair published a headline including the phrase: “Such a F—king Nerdy Film Geek,” quoting how the director of the movie Parasite describes himself.   That’s another adjectival form as grammar freaks well know.

And, contemporary music?  Hip-hop and rap feature more explicit language than country or pop.   We wouldn’t know.  We play our old CDs.  Love that numbers of studies show that today’s music is inferior to the tunes we sang along with and danced to.  

Not surprisingly, kids are swearing more today and at very early ages.  Profanity is pretty ubiquitous on Netflix’s Teen programming.  There’s a clear disconnect between what Netflix and parents consider appropriate.  Remember when your mom threatened to wash your mouth out with soap if you used that dirty word again?


Cursing has led to a remarkably large body of academic research.  It’s a useful indicator of emotion states.  It can improve strength when exercising.  It increases the number of pushups we can do!   Swearing when we’re angry or frustrated makes us feel better.  Hell, yes!  And, a fun fact.  Chimpanzees, raised by humans and trained in sign language, have taught themselves to swear, using the sign for “dirty” when they are aggravated. 

The 2000 book “Cuss Control: The Complete Book on How to Curb Your Cursing” theorizes that the widespread use of foul language has contributed to the decline of civility and good manners.  Hmmm.  It’s out of print.  Guess no one gives a damn.

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today:  Learn a bit of sign language so you can swear like a chimpanzee in front of the grandkids.  If kids are in the room, we do give a damn about profanity!  With adults, show off your intellect!  People with higher intellects are more likely to swear.  But, oops, they are also more likely to eat spicy breakfasts and walk around the house naked.  Dagnamit!  Drat!  Gadzooks!  Cripes!  You can always charm those around you with these old-timey oaths…if you don’t mind showing your age.

Wrinkled Wisdom – Time for the Dreaded Seasonal Clothing Changeover

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March 20 is the first day of spring.  It’s that bothersome time again to switch, swap, and rearrange the clothes in our closets and drawers.  Accessibility!  We don’t want to be digging through our winter sweaters looking for something to wear on a sunny, warm, spring day.  And, it will help us get dressed faster in the morning!  

Forget gender, we’ll all face some tough questions.  What to toss?  What to keep?  What to alter?  What to buy?  Well, what do we really need to buy?!  Decisions!  Decisions!

We want to smile when we check out our closet.  We want to look at things we are excited to wear.  What about those clothes we rarely or never don?  Hey, guys, how many suits, dress shirts, and ties do you really need these days?  According to statistics, we only wear 30% of the stuff in our closet.  Time to purge?  You betcha!  

We can donate our gently used clothes and get a tax deduction…a two-fer.  But, yikes, only 20-30% of those donated clothes actually make it to thrift store racks.  Sadly, about 85% of donated clothing ends up in landfills or is incinerated.  Not much incentive to donate!

Other options?  Consignment shops.  Would someone actually buy that, we ask ourselves??  We could sell our unwanted clothes on eBay and other online consignment shops.  Hmmm.  That sounds time-consuming.  Lots of trips to the post office.  But take a bow for the environment.  There are also shops that sell vintage clothing.  Don’t ignore that!  Vintage clothing is defined as garments from the 1920s to the 1990s.  The 90s!  Heck, we’ve got stuff from the 80s we still wear.  Did take the shoulder pads out.

Speaking of shopping, do you find it fun, a chore, disappointing?  Do you shop only sales and discount stores?  Are you willing to pay retail for something you need or is just awesome and you can’t wait to wear it?  Darn right!

Are you often turned off by the poor quality and just plain unattractiveness of the clothes in stores today?  We sure are.  These items reflect a business model called fast fashion or ultra-fast fashion.  The model advocates rapid production of inexpensive, trendy clothing driven by changing cycles influenced by social media and the proliferation of fashion ads.  The model reportedly causes consumers to buy more and get some dopamine rewards.  Huh??  What about durability, comfort, and style?

Hmmm.  These shoppers should consider reading the book Less: Stop Buying So Much Rubbish: How Having Fewer, Better Things Can Make Us Happier.  Duh!

Do you shop on-line?  We like to feel the fabrics and try the clothes on.  For good reason!  Does it fit??  Totally entertained by the term “vanity sizing,” which describes designers tagging clothes with smaller sizes to make consumers feel better about themselves.  They believe the smaller the size that fits, the more likely a shopper is to buy it.  Shrinkflation! 

A British movement advocates we limit our clothing purchases to five items per year plus four secondhand items, to reduce fashion consumption and limit the huge number of discarded items that end in landfills.  Gee, we wish we could find five items each year we wanted to buy!  Oh, this Rule of Five exempts socks and underwear.  They also want people to rent formal clothes for special occasions.  And, it is possible to rent for pregnancy and vacations.  

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Purge, swap, consign, and donate.  Know you’re not alone when you gag in the store at all those ugly clothes that will shrink, stretch, fray, shed, fade, pill, and tear.  If you see something you like, just buy it!  Smile at Sex and the City Carrie Bradshaw’s take: “I like my money right where I can see it: hanging in my closet.”

Wrinkled Wisdom:  How Are Those New Year’s Resolutions Coming Along??

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If you’ve already blown off your New Year’s resolutions, join the club.  Eighty percent of Americans give up on their resolutions by the second Friday of January.  That Friday even has a name—Quitter’s Day!  And, just 10% follow through on this centuries-old tradition.  Ahh, commitment issues!

Not surprisingly, we seniors are the least interested in making a resolution.  Been there; done that.  Who needs to drastically alter their routines at our age??  Guess we could resolve to never again to make a New Year’s resolution?  It’s the young’uns, 19 to 29, who are most likely to make at least one resolution and most feel pressured to do so.

What’s on the list of resolutions most commonly made each year?  Exercise more.  Like lift more…slices of pizza???  Oops!  That’s in conflict with the resolution to eat healthier.  Learn a new skill?  You’ve got to be kidding. 

Top resolutions also include a vow to save more money.  Huh?  We’re long retired.  We’ve built our nest egg.  Now we need to spend wisely and manage our investments so they see us through our golden years. 


We had to giggle about the sponsor of the septuagenarian Rolling Stones’ tour a couple of years ago—the Alliance for Lifetime Income, the trade organization for the annuity business.  Easy decision.  The band’s aging fan base perfectly matched the annuity trade group’s key demographics.

Then there are the more esoteric resolutions we are all urged to make.  Keep a positive mindset, which promises to have health benefits.  Stimulate our minds and challenge our brains to reduce the risk of memory loss and developing dementia.  Got that covered.  We play Words with Friends on our phone, bridge on-line, and have the Wordly app so we can “wordle” all day long.  And, we’re told we should link a resolution to pleasurable activities—a method called “temptation bundling.”  For example, if you resolved to eat more healthy meals, take a cooking class.  Delete.  Delete.  Delete.

For seniors, a list of recommended resolutions includes learning a new technology.  Are you kidding??   We still struggle with what we’ve got!  We are also urged to make a resolution to preserve our life stories.  We’ve already written a history of our family—the good, the bad, and the ugly.  But we do need to check out all the photographs in our house to identify long-forgotten relatives and write their names and relationships on the back.  Yikes, great grandma was quite a looker. 

It’s always entertaining to research how a tradition starts.  Reportedly, in the late first millennium B.C., a Babylonian king publicly vowed to be a better ruler, laying the groundwork for New Year’s resolutions.  The Romans cemented January 1st as the beginning of the new year.  Like the Babylonians, they celebrated with festivals and rituals, but also focused on vows of renewal like cleaning homes, stocking the pantry, paying off debts, and returning borrowed items.  Hmmm.  Those seem to be missing from popular resolutions today. 

The tradition crossed the Atlantic when the Puritans arrived in America.  One history professor explains that the Puritans wanted to avoid debauchery and reflect on the passing and coming years.  She maintains that this marked the emergence of resolutions in a modern sense.

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  If you find yourself in a situation in which it’s more diplomatic to share a New Year’s resolution, say you have resolved to smile more because it releases endorphins and creates a natural “high.”  Or, declare that you have resolved to play more with your grandkids because individuals who do so live longer and score higher on cognitive tests.  In the immortal words of George Bernard Shaw, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” P.S.  Some advice for those who still make New Year’s Resolutions and really want to keep them?   Take it from gamblers.   Find some sucker to bet you can’t do it.  Money talks.