Wrinkled Wisdom:  A High Five for Old Time Rock n’ Roll

Recent deaths of vocalists and musicians from our generation brought back fond memories.  Obits included Ozzy Osbourne, the lead singer of Black Sabbath.  A Denver Rockies Hall of Famer chose Ozzy’s “Crazy Train” as his “walk-up” song when he was on the team, hoping that as it played as he strode to the batting box it would rattle the pitcher.

Marianne Faithfull’s first hit, “As Tears Go By,” was written by the Rolling Stone’s Mick Jagger and Keith Richards   Helped that she was dating Jagger.  Wayne Osmond, the second oldest in the Osmond Brothers band, cashed it in this year as well.  Connie Francis was the first woman to have a No. 1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100 as a solo artist.  “Who’s Sorry Now?”  We are!!  We miss you all!

We were spoiled.  We danced and sang along with The Beatles, Elvis Presley, Janis Joplin,  Simon & Garfunkel, the Rightous Brothers, Fleetwood Mac, David Bowie, the Grateful Dead, Carly Simon, The Supremes, Tina Turner, Chicago, Carole King, Marvin Gaye, and more, and more, and more.

Think back.  What LPs did you own that you bought again and again when vinyl died and the format moved to cassette tapes and then to CDs?   One of ours was Pink Floyd’s 1973 album Dark Side of the Moon—often named as one of the greatest albums of all time.  Love their song “Money” that mocks greed and consumerism and entertains with the sound of cash registers and clinking coins.  Still so current except for the cash registers.

Remember the 70s disco era?  Disco bars featured flashing lights, including strobe lights.  There are still bars that describe themselves as discos today.  Not bothering to check them out.  The lights could give us vertigo.

But, still listen to the Bee Gees.  They were one of the groups that dominated the disco era.  Their music contributed significantly to the movie Saturday Night Fever.  One of the film’s most popular was their hit song “Stayin’ Alive.”  Hmmm.  Maybe we should adopt that as our generation’s theme song??   

Remember American Bandstand hosted by Dick Clark?  We were lucky.  We lived in New Jersey and watched it on a local TV station once it debuted in Philadelphia in 1952.  In those days, the big, three networks considered rock n’ roll outside the cultural mainstream and not marketable.  Wrong!  It premiered nationally in 1957 as part of ABC’s afternoon lineup.  Teenagers showed off the latest dance moves to Top 40 songs and popular musical acts lip-synced to one of their latest hit singles. 

Oh, and remember when we all tuned in to watch Elvis Presley on The Ed Sullivan Show?  His suggestive hip movements caused an uproar and parents called him a “youth-corrupting” musician.  The compromise?   He could appear on television but only be filmed from the waist up.  No hip shots on Ed’s show for Elvis the Pelvis, his nickname.

Multiple studies today indicate a growing preference for older music and dislike for music that’s popular today.  Critics point to increased loudness and repetition; angrier, anti-social sentiments; the rising use of digital audio tools; and the lack of depth, originality, and musicianship.  Giggling.  Bob Seger’s “Old Time Rock and Roll” included the line “today’s music ain’t got the same soul.”  And that was in 1978!

Aren’t there some rock singers and groups we could enjoy today, we thought?  So, we searched the top 40 hits and knew only one of them…Coldplay.  But we know their name because the fan cam at their July concert caught a couple, who aren’t a couple, canoodling and created quite the scandal!  We just chuckled and started humming Chaka Khan’s 1984 song “Caught in the Act.”

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Ask the grandkids to give you a CD of one of today’s popular rock n’ roll groups so we can get with it…a learning experience for both of us.   Do they even know what CD is???  And, yes, most of us oldies still have our aging CD players.  Preset all the local stations on your car radio that play only music from our era.  Makes driving so much more enjoyable.  Come on baby, let’s do the twist!

Wrinkled Wisdom – More Fun and Curious Facts

It’s again time to regale you with an entertaining medley from those boring, useless, strange, weird, fun, historic, and mind-blowing facts the internet loves to feed us.  Sucker for trivia?  Stick with us!

Did you know that if you put your rubber bands in the refrigerator they will last longer, that women hiccup less than men, and that sharks are the only fish that can blink with both eyes? 

Did you know that you can ask for change for a dollar in 293 ways?  Hmmm.  Does anyone even pay in cash these days?  Yikes, two in five Americans now don’t even carry any money at all.

Summer starts this month.  Think twice about sitting by a lake or pool drinking a cold beer or margarita.  Not only are mosquitoes attracted to blood type O, they love people who have alcohol in their bloodstream.  Alcohol expands blood vessels, which then increases skin temperature and sweating—delights that invite a bite.  Ouch.  Bug spray!

The French Poodle is actually a myth.  Poodles originated in Germany.  They were trained as sporting dogs.  And, love this one.  A flock of flamingos is called a flamboyance.

We all had brown eyes until 6,000 to 10,000 years ago when a baby was born in Europe with a DNA blip—blue eyes.  So, everyone with blue eyes today is a very distant relative of that one ancient person.  Blue-eyed angels?  No, all of us with blue eyes are really mutants.

A new study shows that more and more viewers are having trouble understanding what people are saying on TV shows.  Let’s blame it on flat-screen TVs using miniature speakers that garble the dialogue…not our hearing.   

Thought you heard “Betty in a dress” rather than “Bennie and the Jets?” This is called a mondegreen.  It’s when you mishear a word, phrase, or song lyric.  Mondegreens are the opposite of malapropisms, which are the incorrect use of a word.  Example: Mike Tyson’s response to a reporter after he lost a boxing match.  “I might just fade into Bolivian.”  Nope, Mike, we knew you meant “oblivion.”  

We do want to emphasize some interesting facts about seniors.  We’re happier than most.  We still enjoy sex.  We sweat less.  Our teeth are less sensitive and we don’t get colds as often as younger people.

Why don’t we sweat as much as we used to?  Our sweat glands shrink as we age.  What else shrinks as we age?  Our brains and our bones.  One of us used to be 5 feet 9 inches.  Nope.  Not anymore.  We’re happier because we are supposedly less likely to get angry, more in control of our emotions, and

better at dealing with conflict.   Maybe not when we’re looking at the cost of a tooth implant.

It’s not surprising that people over 65 watch more television than anyone. The Bureau of Labor Statistics says we oldies spend about four hours sitting in front of the TV each day.  Could it be that driving at night isn’t as easy as it used to be????  

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Let’s make our golden years some of the best of our lives.  No sweat!  Turn on the captions for TV shows; don’t miss a thing.  Life expectancy is growing.  But, think about it, we’re saving money on underarm deodorant, Tylenol, and tissues since we don’t sweat as much or get as many colds!  And, we still think keeping some emergency cash in our wallets is a good idea.  You just never know.