What the heck? We had planned to suggest fun ways to use our stash of unused masks instead of tossing them. But, the coronavirus has reared its ugly head again. That nasty, aggressive Delta variant is taking us backwards. We knew we’d need to keep some masks as we planned trips, since wearing them in airports and on planes is still a must. Now, we’re thinking about cancelling the trips. But, didn’t think we’d be pulling them out again when heading to stores and indoor gatherings! We’re pissed.

Oh, no! We freaked when we read the headline: “Sorry, We Aren’t Going Back to the Movies.”  What? For over a year, we’ve been stuck at home watching movies, favoring those with predictable, happy endings. Why would we want to continue to do that?  We love the big screen. Yes, we understand that Hollywood coped with the pandemic by streaming new movies, but do studios still have to stream movies at the same time they release them in theaters??  

There is hope that this studio strategy will taper out and help theaters thrive. A bunch of households have cancelled their streaming services. And, the latest installment in the Fast and Furious franchise broke box office records recently. It debuted exclusively in theaters. While some of us have outgrown movies like Vin Diesel’s Fast and Furious F9, we did find one worth seeing and hit the theater for the first time recently. Fun! We hope more people are hungry to return to theaters, with a mask for sure.  But, most movies today are for young people and kids.  A lot of animated films.  Great for taking the grandkids to the theater, but what about us?  

Gulp!  People drank more and ate more unhealthy food during lockup. Calories! A jokester noted that, after 25 million Europeans died from the bubonic plague in the mid-1300s, Italian Renaissance paintings that followed are full of overweight, naked people lying on couches. A doctor at the time may have contributed to the weighty people in the paintings by recommending they ingest “select wines” as they lived in fear of getting the plague. Or, maybe it was just a time when good health and wealth was firmly associated with “stable plumpness.”  

The big uptick in sales, surprisingly, was in distilled spirits—tequila, gin, and whiskey. People treated themselves by splurging on more expensive brands. Liquor companies also saw a rise in two- to three-ingredient cocktails, selling more “premium mixers” such as cordials, flavored liqueurs, and aperitifs. Sales of vodka mules and other premixed cocktails in cans nearly doubled during the Covid lockdown. 

Takeout cocktails helped bars and restaurants stay in business during the pandemic. At least 33 states temporarily allowed cocktails to-go. The Colorado House of Representatives recently passed a bill extending to-go cocktails from distillery pubs, restaurants, and bars for five years.  Hmmm…any link to the increase in DUIs during the pandemic even as driving decreased?? 

Ouch!  Tattooing is booming and many are asking for Covid-related designs. As someone said, tattoos are the body’s “refrigerator magnets of memories.” The more entertaining include Corona beer bottles in various states of explosion, hand sanitizer, and rolls of toilet paper. A heart surrounded by coronavirus spike proteins is popular. It’s the logo of a group that connects Covid-19 survivors. Tattoos featuring semicolons, interestingly, are some of the most moving.  Coupled with a butterfly wing, it’s a symbol of freedom. Coupled with a heart it represents the love of partners, family, and friends, who helped the person through the pandemic.  But, we truly hope young people consider aging and sagging skin when choosing a location for that tattoo!

Egad!  Fashion torture devices are suddenly looking appealing. After wearing sweats, pajamas, and leggings for over a year, high heels, tight pants, strapless bras, and even pantyhose are looking less painful as we welcome the eventual resurgence of a social life. Fun earrings!  Bracelets and necklaces! Cocktail outfits! Tossing those sweats might be a challenge at first.  Need to reintroduce ourselves to our closets.  And, it’s going to be great for our favorite dry cleaners’ business. The Delta variant might slow us down a bit, but….

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today:  Focus on you! Get those masks out! Go to the movies in the afternoon when theaters are pretty empty!  Suggest ankle tattoos to the kids. Head back to the gym but don’t forget to sanitize that treadmill. Even if you have exercise equipment at home, other body parts need work. Spend more time with friends, which will cause you to laugh five times more, says the research.  Stay optimistic. “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere,” wrote Erma Bombeck.