Why?  It just makes you forget the question.  We’ll drink to that!

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.  Yup.  We used to be able to put away a number of drinks.  Now our limit is two…with lots of water on the side.

If alcohol once made you feel fun and flirty but now makes you feel loopy, tired, and headachy, congratulations, writes a newspaper columnist—you’re probably getting old.

Makes sense.  Our alcohol tolerance decreases with age.  Our bodies contain less water and muscle mass, leading to a higher concentration of alcohol in our bloodstreams.   Our slower metabolism processes alcohol more sluggishly.  And, many of us take medications that don’t like to be mixed with liquor.  

The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism recommends we seniors have no more than seven drinks a week, an average of one drink each day, and no more than three drinks on any given day.  Responsible drinking?  Many of us will describe that phrase as an oxymoron.

Recent research underscores a troubling trend in alcohol abuse—a spike in late-in-life drinking.  While we are less likely to drink than younger people, we engage in binge drinking more often.  The numbers are up 65%.  Remember that Ernest Hemingway said he drank to make other people more interesting.  Maybe that’s the reason for that bingeing?

If you want to limit your alcohol intake, the National Institutes of Health wants to help.  Its experts recommend that you write down your reasons for cutting back.  We want to get a good night’s sleep!   Track your drinking habits for a week and then set drinking goals.  Hmm…that sure contradicts the Italian proverb—age and glasses of wine should never be counted.  Finally, they advise posting those goals on a piece of paper you walk by every day.  What?  NIH thinks we have memory problems??

We seniors, are demonstrating our smarts on the road.  Older drivers are less likely to drink and drive.  That’s positive because one research study shows that, for we oldies, even one drink can impair our driving skills.  

In the moment, having a drink may seem like a good idea.  The next morning, though, you might find yourself regretting that extra glass of wine.  We’ve all awakened after a night of drinking with headaches, nausea, or sensitivity to light and sound.  You could describe it as feeling old in the morning after you drink like a younger self.  

There’s a very interesting term for the morning after that describes hangovers that result in anxiety, irritability, and feelings of regret…hang-xiety.  Doctors don’t really understand why some people feel this negativity the next day.  They guess it’s because alcohol reduces the amount of REM sleep you get, which can make you feel anxious.  Or, because drinking dehydrates you, that can affect your mood.

Good news!  Sugar in the morning can help a hangover by raising low blood sugar levels.  Of course, doctors recommend natural sugars from fruit or honey, not highly sugary drinks.  Sugars move alcohol out of your system faster.  And, be sure to drink lots of water and have a boring breakfast.  

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today:  Space out your drinks and add ice to dilute them.  An afternoon nap probably provides the biggest bang for the buck.  Gulp down that sugar the morning after.  Heck, a Coke works for us.  Start the day with toast, muffins, or oatmeal.  And, if life gives you lemons, add vodka.  What the hell???