Author: marileeandbarbara

Wrinkled Wisdom – Thinking about Buying a New Car? Ugh!

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Remember how excited we used to get about buying a new car?  Loved choosing a color and matching it with the interior and seat colors.  Loved that new car smell and shine.  Loved the new audio systems that let us play for our favorite albums on cassette tapes and CDs while driving!  Not today!  New models are loaded with tech that is more overwhelming than impressive.  The manual sure doesn’t help.  Buying a new car is now a source of frustration, not joy.  And, prices?  OMG!

Just look at those dashboard designs.  Swapping knobs and sliders for intricate touch screen displays on dashboards in new cars is more distracting than useful.  How about simple, reachable controls that we can use without taking our eyes off the road?? 

A friend drove her granddaughter’s car recently and couldn’t find the lights or the windshield wipers.  Enjoyed the line from the guy who said jokingly that his wife’s new car came with a semester at MIT to learn to use the turn signal.  Could that the reason why so many drivers don’t give you a head’s up when they are turning?  Doubt it. 

Remember when we were kids and could name the make and model of every car on the road?  Each design was distinct.  Check out the look of today’s Chevys and Jaguars.  The difference?  The price.  We can blame the designs on aerodynamics, which led to these similar shapes and silhouettes across brands.  The aerodynamic design reduces drag and improves fuel efficiency.  But it’s made cars monotonous!

Speaking of monotonous, black, gray, silver, and white cars now account for about 75 percent of cars sold.  One reason for this descent into automotive blandness?  Brighter colors raise the cost of the car.  Seems ages since Bruce Springsteen sang about a pink Cadillac and Prince warbled about a little red Corvette.  

We learned to drive on a stick-shift green and white 1957 Chevy.  There is some good news!  Paint companies have developed technologies to apply two-tone paint on cars more efficiently, reducing costs.  Two-tone paint jobs are making a comeback.  You still pay a premium, of course.

The term “wretched excess” was used to describe the cars we saw on the road in the late 1950s.  The 1959 Cadillac De Ville was almost 19 feet long!  Parallel parking that baby must have been entertaining.  And, think of the gas mileage!

We are all interested in saving money at the pump, hence the popularity of today’s hybrids and electric cars (EVs).  Interestingly, nothing new.  The first successful EV made in the U.S. debuted around 1890.  Its top speed was 14 mph.  A speed monster!  Henry Ford’s 1908 Model T dealt a deadly blow to the EV.  It was affordable.  Gas was cheap.  And, electricity for EVs was rare outside of cities.  Sound familiar?  EVs all but disappeared by 1935.

In 1905, a patent was first filed for a hybrid.  It was designed to use the electric motor to augment the gasoline engine and increase acceleration from zero to a sizzling 25 mph in 10 seconds.  Whoopie!

They say you’re never too old to learn something new.  But it gets annoying!  We’re not alone.  Studies show new car owner satisfaction has dropped. 

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Let’s lobby for a return to “dumb cars” with fewer exasperating tech features and unnecessary bells and whistles!  Do your research before buying a new car.  Know your car’s trade-in value so you won’t be duped.  Test drive your favorite models.  Oh, and eat before you go to the dealership.  Buying a car can take hours and hunger can inhibit your ability to make a good decision.  Or, use a car broker, never set foot in a dealership, and save some calories.

P.S.  Please note that the smell we referenced as an olfactory perk of a new car is caused by chemicals being released by the car’s leather and plastic, which can cause eye and nose irritation.  Even has a name: off-gassing!  No worries.  Easy fix.  Just open the windows.

Wrinkled wisdom – Sleep Tight, Wake up Bright

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Diet, exercise, and sleep are the three pillars of a healthy life, especially as we age.  Okay, we can choose to eat nourishing foods.  We can choose to go to the gym or take long walks.  But we sure can’t just choose to get a good night’s sleep.  If only!

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that more than a third of U.S. adults don’t get the recommended seven hours or more of sleep every night.  We’re not alone!

Just walk into a drugstore and take a look at the sleep aid section.  It’s huge.  Options include Sleep-eze, ZzzQuil, Sominex, Kalms Night, melatonin, and more.  If they don’t work, doctors can prescribe Halcion, Restoril, Lunesta, Ambien, and Sonata.   Still not sleeping?  Explore functional mushrooms as seen on Shark Tank!

We stumbled onto an article headlined “simple things” to do to promote a good night’s sleep.  We like simple things so we read on.  First, avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol four to six hours before sleep.  Hmmm…the alcohol thing could be tough.  We’re limited to happy hour?? 

Next, set your heater or air conditioner at a comfortable temperature.  Okay.  Makes sense.  Avoid your cell phone, TV, and computer an hour before you are ready to go to bed.  Huh?  So, what are we supposed to do for that hour??   Brushing your teeth takes minutes.  Guess it’s time to read a book.  Maybe Meditation for Beginners??

Apparently, some people do better with a small amount of noise when sleeping.  You could run your ceiling fan or buy a white noise machine.  They are very, very popular.  Creating a soothing nighttime playlist is an option.  Your partner’s snoring obviously doesn’t count.  Are earplugs the answer to that snoring??   Maybe not!  They are one of the most common objects removed from ears in hospitals’ emergency rooms.

Another tip about what to drink when.  Forget the coffee, tea, or juice when you wake up in the morning.  We’re supposed to drink water first.  That is certainly easy to do while making the coffee or tea or pouring the juice.  And let’s face it, we are thirsty in the mornings because we don’t drink a bunch at night so we don’t have to get up and pee multiple times.  Chug some water first thing?  Good with that.  Doctors recommend adding some soluble fiber powder…if we can remember.

So, when’s the best time to stop drinking water at night?  Two hours before going to bed.  Take your vitamins in the morning.  Don’t flood your body with fluids at night.  You’ll really regret it.

As we all well know, waking up in the middle of the night to head to the john has become more common as we’ve gotten older.  There’s a reason.  Our bodies produce less of the hormone that helps concentrate urine and retain fluids.  Peeing during the night even has a name—nocturia.   Some clever individual made it up by combining the Latin word for “night” and the Greek word for “urine.”  

What about naps?  Experts say a short nap—less than 90 minutes—is okay since it’s a lighter phase of sleep, not that deep, restorative sleep that you should get throughout the night.  Yet it’s often so elusive for so many.

And, experts say we should wear socks to bed.  Nothing to do with keeping your feet warm.  Actually, just the opposite.  Why?  Sends a signal to your brain to lower your core temperature—a cue that it’s time for…sleep! 

Lack of sleep sure hits our vanity hard.  None of us want to look in the mirror in the morning after a bad night’s sleep.  A tired face boasts droopy eyelids, circles under the eyes, sagging mouth corners, wrinkles, and fine lines.  No, it’s not just aging!  

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Since sleep is our most important behavior, go for broke on a good mattress.  If you’re a “princess and the pea” type, sorry, you’re on your own.  In your next place, make sure the john is about seven steps from your bed.  You know why!  We wish you sweet dreams.  But putting that song on your nighttime playlist won’t help!   Oh, and remember—nightlights are your friends.

Wrinkled Wisdom:  What’s in a Name??

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The ancient Romans’ phrase “nomen est omen” translates to “the name is an omen.”   Historians love pointing out that, in 70 B.C., a Roman official, whose last name meant “male swine,” was found guilty of acts of plundering and extortion.  The prosecutor in his trial was the legendary orator Cicero, who argued that the official’s conduct “confirmed his name.”  The name game was on!

A 1994 New Scientist magazine cited an article noting that scientists and writers often seem to focus on subjects that reflect their names.  Fun example?  A British Journal of Urology article about incontinence was authored by A.J. Splatt and D. Weedon.  A reader of that article coined the term nominative determinism. 

How about names predicting professions?  Is a Dennis or a Denise more likely to become a dentist?  Jimmy Kimmel once interviewed four people whose names perfectly matched their jobs.  Get ready to giggle!  They included volunteer firefighter Les McBurney, dentist Dr. Chip Silvertooth, contractor Paul Schwinghammer, and gynecologist Dr. Lauren Hyman. 

Then came a trio of articles arguing that people’s names not only influenced their professions but where they moved and whom they married.  They argue the people are drawn to towns and streets with names similar or identical to their own.  They marry individuals with their same name.   Hmmm!  We do know one person who married another with the same last name, but we want to see more research on that one!

Many names are inspired by nature.  Summer, Autumn, and Winter come to mind, although Winter is a dog.  Okay, we know Lilies, Daisys, and Poppys.  We have been spared Daffodils, Tulips, and Hydrangeas.  Other than Clementine, fruits haven’t gained much traction.  Don’t forget colors: Rose, Violet, and Scarlett.  Luckily no Maroon, Purple, or Umber!

Parents even name their kids after cities. Think Augusta, Austin, Florence, Lincoln, Memphis, Orlando, Savannah, and Troy.   Ah, maybe they just hope their kids will go places, see things, and change the world.

Pet names (for humans)!  Interestingly, research shows that couples who use pet names are actually happier in their relationships.  We get babe, honey, hun, sweetie pie, and sugar.  But, the trendy bae and boo??  Had to learn those for crossword puzzles.  Again, we are not part of that demographic.  That’s a euphemism for…we’re old.

It is said that sticks and stones can break your bones, but names can never hurt you.  This rhyme helps kids cope with name-calling.  Let’s give it another take.  Try Reginald Kenneth Dwight, Margaret Mary Emily Anne Hyra, Eric Marlon Bishop, and Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner.  Would you pay top dollar to see any of these names?  But, how about Elton John, Meg Ryan, Jamie Foxx, or Sting?  Maybe changing names isn’t such a bad idea. 

It’s common for a son to have Jr. after his name to distinguish him from his father.  An historian explains that back in the daywomen were invisible in town records because they didn’t own property.  But when dad passed his property to his son, it needed to be clear in probate and deed records who was who.  

We didn’t remember that the only daughter of President Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Anna Eleanor Roosevelt was named Anna Eleanor Roosevelt Jr.  Carolina Herrera Jr. designs fragrances for her mother, the fashion designer.  Yes!

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today:  Don’t be superstitious.  We doubt any name will really guide the grandkids’ destinies.  But, do urge your kids to do some homework before naming your grandchild.  Mallory became popular in the 1980s thanks to Mallory Keaton in Family Ties.  But its meaning is “unfortunate” or “unlucky.”  The name Claudia is derived from the Latin word meaning “lame” or “crippled.”  Kick those maverick names to the curb!  In a crunch, there’s always …well…Hope!  

Wrinkled Wisdom – Have You Nailed It Yet???

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The Chinese invented nail polish over 5,000 years ago mixing egg whites, gelatin, beeswax, and vegetable dyes.  Gee, sounds like an ultra-processed food!  Colors had symbolic meanings.  Black represented wealth.  Red was good luck.  Yellow for royalty.  Those glittery nail polishes today are nothing new.  The Chinese added metallic dusts of silver and gold for pop.

Cleopatra dyed her nails blood red.  So much for bringing her good luck!  She killed herself at 39 either by allowing an asp to bite her or by poisoning herself.  Or was she murdered?  Historians are still debating that.

Black nail polish meant different things in different eras.  In the 30s, it was worn by women who were more outspoken, emancipated.  In the late 70s and 80s, it was a symbol of rebellion.  Today?  It can suggest mysteriousness, boldness, moodiness, or simply go well with just about anything you put on. 

As women filled jobs left by men serving in the military during World War II, clear and base coats protected nails as they handled heavy machinery. 

Today can be confusing.  Choices include traditional nail polish, lacquers, gels, Shellac, dip powders, acrylics, and press-on nails.  Help!

We’re in the minority.  We’re showing our age.  We still get regular manicures.  We were muddled for a while, but now know we can use stuff labeled nail polish or lacquer polish, which is reportedly more durable.  Mostly no difference; just confusion. 

Gel was the first newbie on the scene, in 2009.   A gel manicure is a three-step process for a durable, long-lasting manicure, though gel nails’ worst enemy is hot water.  Then along came Shellac.  Shellac is simply gel polish mixed with regular polish.  It’s applied like regular polish.  Shellac is a patented brand.  It’s a bit like calling a vacuum cleaner a Hoover.  We tried it but aren’t crazy about soaking our nails in acetone to help remove it.

Dip powder nails are painted with a base coat and then dipped—shocker!—into a pigmented powder that acts as the paint.  Next?  Acrylic nails and press-on nails.  Acrylic nails are artificial nail extensions made from a combination of liquid monomer and a powder polymer (huh?) that is applied to natural nails.  Press-on nails are usually created out of acrylic resin and come in various shapes, designs, and sizes.   You just, duh, press them on…with a little umph. 

All were very appreciated when Covid caused dents, grooves, and/or ridges in our nails for months.  That sucked!  Our friends with finicky nails like these options because they either strengthen nails and help them grow or just hide icky nails.  Ahh, vanity.

We were a bit smug reading that experts have warned that Shellac and gel manicures can cause allergic reactions, skin cancer, and premature skin aging on the hands.  Some studies have also found that the radiation emitted by UV-nail dryers may cause cancers of the hand.  Think tanning beds.  The research doesn’t perfectly emulate what happens in real life, so no need to freak out.   Yet….  And, acrylic nails can catch on fire!

Detour!  Some fun facts.  Just like your hair, your nails are dead.  They don’t need to breathe.  They don’t grow after you’ve kicked the bucket.  Not being grim!  Facts are facts.  Only mammals with fingernails are called primates.  Yes, chimpanzees bite their nails.  Hand fetishism is a sexual attraction to a specific area of the hand…or nails…recognized by the porn industry.

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Go ahead, treat yourself to a mani/pedi.  We deserve to be pampered.  And, it’s less risky than trying to put nail polish on ourselves!  We’re not ambidextrous!  Shellac and gel last two weeks.  That saves some time at the salon and bucks.  Just put on sunscreen if worried about getting skin cancer from the UV lights.  Since hot water is bad news for gel nails, wear rubber gloves while taking a long soak in the hot tub.  Not a pretty look, but….  And, if you have acrylic nails, don’t light the candles on the grandkids’ birthday cakes.  Hope we nailed it!

Wrinkled Wisdom – Is Healthy Eating Easy? No Way!

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Yes, we all know we need to eat a healthy diet.  Duh.  And, yes, we’re tired of being inundated with ads admonishing us to cut out processed foods.  

Apparently, health experts don’t realize how very confusing these ads are!  Any food is considered processed if it has been canned, cooked, frozen, pasteurized, or packaged.  Hey, it’s just fine to eat canned vegetables, frozen fruits, and pasteurized dairy products.  And, canned foods are essential to surviving the zombie apocalypse! 

It’s the highly processed/ultra-processed foods that are harmful to our health.  They are loaded with salt, sugar, additives, added colors, and preservatives.  We’re looking at you, chicken nuggets and frozen pizzas.  Sorry!   And, it’s not just foods.  Add to that list of no-nos some sodas, bottled smoothies, and energy drinks.

But, how do we know what’s ultra-processed??  Just read the label?  Tough. 

The best advice we can give is to stay away from stuff that has five or more ingredients, especially a bunch you don’t recognize and can’t pronounce.  Or try covering the front of the box, jar, or package and just read the ingredients.  Do you still know what you’re buying?

Beware of sugars that end in “ose.”  Beware of artificial sugars like aspartame, sucralose, acesulfame-k, saccharin, and stevia.  A recent study just found that xylitol, a natural sugar alcohol (whatever that is) can cause heart attacks and strokes.  And, who would guess that salad dressings and toilet bowl cleaners have something in common – xanthan gum.  Maybe just put any product back on the shelf if one of its ingredients starts with an “x.” 

Those bad saturated fats have lots of names too: hydrogenated fats/oils, butter, cocoa butter, palm oil, coconut oil, lard, and suet.  And let’s not forget about salt.  Sodium chloride is table salt, but less obvious on labels are sodium benzoate disodium, disodium phosphate, brine, soy sauce, and the ever-famous MSG, monosodium glutamate.  Watch out for negative cholesterol build up from both.  Go easy.  Or not.

A few more facts about salt.  It’s essential for our bodies to function properly.  Salt’s ability to preserve food was a founding contributor to the development of civilization.  The Egyptians used it in mummification.  Roman soldiers got a salt allowance.  Ghandi led a Salt March in 1930, protesting Britain’s Salt Act that forced Indians to buy highly-taxed British salt.  Gotta have salt…especially on our fries. 

Upset to learn that bacon, sausage, lunch meat, and hot dogs are not only ultra-processed, but classified as carcinogenic by the International Agency for Research on Cancer.  We’ll ignore the fact that, technically, sliced bread also is ultra-processed!  Do look out for highly processed foods masquerading as healthy foods.  Breakfast cereal is a major offender along with flavored yogurts and granola, energy, and protein bars.  We love irony.

We all think organic foods are special, but a French supermarket found that half the organic products they sold were ultra-processed.  Sacré bleu!  That saves us guilt for not spending additional bucks on these more expensive foods!

Okay, we’ll smile smugly while snacking on raw veggies, almonds, and dried fruits.  But, screw it!  We aren’t giving up our favorite junk foods.  Bring on potato chips, Cheez-Its, candy, and ice cream.  And, who can give live without chocolates???

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?   Shop the perimeter of your grocery store since most fresh stuff is along the edges.  Processed foods are in the middle aisles.  Oops.  Walk past the deli counter if you’re serious about eating healthy.  Don’t forget to bring your glasses for reading labels.  And, buy the natural peanut butter for the grandkids…without oils that extend shelf life and prevent it from separating.  Just find a tool to mix it before making the kids a PB&J.  We trust your creativity!  A corkscrew???  We know you’ve got one of those on hand.

Wrinkled Wisdom – More Fun and Curious Facts

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It’s again time to regale you with an entertaining medley from those boring, useless, strange, weird, fun, historic, and mind-blowing facts the internet loves to feed us.  Sucker for trivia?  Stick with us!

Did you know that if you put your rubber bands in the refrigerator they will last longer, that women hiccup less than men, and that sharks are the only fish that can blink with both eyes? 

Did you know that you can ask for change for a dollar in 293 ways?  Hmmm.  Does anyone even pay in cash these days?  Yikes, two in five Americans now don’t even carry any money at all.

Summer starts this month.  Think twice about sitting by a lake or pool drinking a cold beer or margarita.  Not only are mosquitoes attracted to blood type O, they love people who have alcohol in their bloodstream.  Alcohol expands blood vessels, which then increases skin temperature and sweating—delights that invite a bite.  Ouch.  Bug spray!

The French Poodle is actually a myth.  Poodles originated in Germany.  They were trained as sporting dogs.  And, love this one.  A flock of flamingos is called a flamboyance.

We all had brown eyes until 6,000 to 10,000 years ago when a baby was born in Europe with a DNA blip—blue eyes.  So, everyone with blue eyes today is a very distant relative of that one ancient person.  Blue-eyed angels?  No, all of us with blue eyes are really mutants.

A new study shows that more and more viewers are having trouble understanding what people are saying on TV shows.  Let’s blame it on flat-screen TVs using miniature speakers that garble the dialogue…not our hearing.   

Thought you heard “Betty in a dress” rather than “Bennie and the Jets?” This is called a mondegreen.  It’s when you mishear a word, phrase, or song lyric.  Mondegreens are the opposite of malapropisms, which are the incorrect use of a word.  Example: Mike Tyson’s response to a reporter after he lost a boxing match.  “I might just fade into Bolivian.”  Nope, Mike, we knew you meant “oblivion.”  

We do want to emphasize some interesting facts about seniors.  We’re happier than most.  We still enjoy sex.  We sweat less.  Our teeth are less sensitive and we don’t get colds as often as younger people.

Why don’t we sweat as much as we used to?  Our sweat glands shrink as we age.  What else shrinks as we age?  Our brains and our bones.  One of us used to be 5 feet 9 inches.  Nope.  Not anymore.  We’re happier because we are supposedly less likely to get angry, more in control of our emotions, and

better at dealing with conflict.   Maybe not when we’re looking at the cost of a tooth implant.

It’s not surprising that people over 65 watch more television than anyone. The Bureau of Labor Statistics says we oldies spend about four hours sitting in front of the TV each day.  Could it be that driving at night isn’t as easy as it used to be????  

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Let’s make our golden years some of the best of our lives.  No sweat!  Turn on the captions for TV shows; don’t miss a thing.  Life expectancy is growing.  But, think about it, we’re saving money on underarm deodorant, Tylenol, and tissues since we don’t sweat as much or get as many colds!  And, we still think keeping some emergency cash in our wallets is a good idea.  You just never know.

Wrinkled Wisdom – What Kind of Shot?

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Tequila, vodka, whiskey, and jello—we’ve done lots of shots in our day. When we seniors now talk about shots, we are not talking about liquor, bars, and fun, we’re talking about vaccines.  Let’s look at our many options!

We all had chickenpox as kids.  Shingles is caused by the same virus, which stays dormant in the body just waiting to cause that painful itch and the rash and swelling that can make us look like a duckbilled platypus.  About half of all shingles cases nail adults 60 or older.  “Shingles doesn’t care” shouts one TV ad.  We do!  The good news?  The newest vaccine can last seven years.  Gee, quite a bargain.

Pneumonia is a pneumococcal disease and another problem that increases as we age.  Sir William Osler, a Canadian physician and one of the founders of Johns Hopkins Hospital who died over a century ago, called pneumonia the “old man’s friend.”  Like heck!  No one appreciates his joke.  Symptoms in seniors include fatigue, chills, and shortness of breath.  Hmmm.  Breathing seems pretty important.  More good news.  The pneumonia vaccine for seniors stops 50 to 70 percent of pneumonia infections.  So there, Sir Osler!

No wonder everyone is referring to RSV as RSV.  Respiratory Syncytial Virus??  This was a new one on us.  Symptoms are like the common cold.  TV ads are sure pushing vaccines for this virus; but, interestingly, some doctors aren’t. 

Measles are making a comeback after the disease was eradicated from the U.S. in 2000.   Don’t worry.  If you had the measles vaccine as a kid, you are protected for life.  Whew!  But, if the grandkids get those red blotchy rashes, maybe sweetly decline to babysit them just in case.

We thought polio was consigned to history.  But, it’s back; baby it’s back.  A bit.  Remember those scary iron lungs??…those huge, round mechanical respirators that enclosed most of the sick person’s body?   Thankfully, no need to put the polio vaccine on your list if, like us, you were vaccinated as a kid.

Yes, we get our flu shots every year.  Add that to the list.  And, be sure to get one if you are going on a cruise.  That’s on doctor’s orders!

Holy cow, the list of vaccines you might have to get if you are traveling overseas is huge—yellow fever, Tdap (tetanus, diphtheria, pertussis), typhoid, and cholera to name a few.  If you are heading to Asia, add the Japanese encephalitis vaccine.  The infection is caused by a mosquito bite and swells your brain.  Do you have travel medical insurance??

What about the avian flu?  Been tough on backyard and commercial chicken flocks.  Now it’s infecting dairy cows and has been found in some milk.  Don’t buy any raw milk at a farm stand!  Poor chickens!  The Department of Agriculture is about a year away from a vaccine for this strain.  A French vaccine for ducks is only 80% effective.  Poor us.  Price of eggs.  Only one farmworker has gotten the virus, but vaccine trials are underway just in case.  Oh, no, another pandemic threat???  

The Covid pandemic was bad enough and that disease here to stay.  It is the “Song that Never Ends.” 

Cases of the sexually transmitted infectious disease syphilis are reportedly soaring in the U.S.   There is no approved vaccine for syphilis; but, even if there were, don’t think we oldies would need to add that one to our list.  Well, if you are on a dating site, be aware!

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Think about having that shot of alcohol after getting a shot or shots in your arms.  How many arms do we have???  Only two.  Docs say it’s okay to get several vaccines at the same time and even in the same arm…an inch apart.  No chronic health problems caused.  Note the word “chronic.”  We’re retired.  We have time.  We’ll make multiple appointments, thank you.

Wrinkled Wisdom – Huh?  That’s in your Medicine Cabinet?

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Mary Jane, not just a ski area in Colorado.  Grass, not just your lawn.  Pot, not just for soup.  Joints, not just elbows and wrists.  Doobie, not just the rock band brothers.  There are loads of nicknames for cannabis and the marijuana cigarettes we used to roll.

Oops!  We were recently corrected by a 20-year-old for referring to marijuana as dope.  Nope.  That’s out.  Younger generations call it weed.  Hmmm…maybe a shortened version of locoweed, which causes horses and cattle to act a bit crazy if they eat the plant?

The oldest study of cannabis’ medicinal potential was documented by Chinese emperor Shen Nung in 2,727 B.C., who used himself as a test subject.  That’s according to the Drug Enforcement Administration’s DEA Museum in Arlington, VA.  Yes, there is such a thing.  Some historians say marijuana has been around for 8,000 to 12,000 years. 

Everything changed with the 1937 Marihuana Tax Act.  It paved the way for the criminalization of marijuana.  No, that wasn’t a typo.  Both spellings of marijuana/marihuana are correct, but today the one with the “h” is mostly used in legal contexts because of the 1937 bill.  However, the times they are a-changin’.  Only seven states haven’t approved marijuana for medical purposes; 24 states have okayed weed for recreational use.  Not the Feds. 

You may have indulged in your youth and you may now be revisiting those days as you look for relief from a variety of health issues.  There are tons of cannabinoids.  You may ignore THC that gives you the high, but be all in for CBD for pain relief.  

Don’t worry, you will fit right in at the dispensary.  Use of marijuana by older adults went up 455 % 10 years ago and just keeps rising.  Love the headline “Why Some Seniors Are Choosing Pot Over Pills.”  The list of ailments helped by weed are amazingly extensive…inflammation; muscle, joint, back, and knee pain; migraines; arthritis; insomnia; and more.  Lots of options!!  Gummies.  Creams and patches for sore spots.  Just talk to your budtender!!  

Then there is LSD, Timothy Leary’s favorite drug.  Acid trips!  Bad trips.  Flashbacks!  There is renewed interest in this potent hallucinogen to treat addiction, depression, anxiety, and PTSD…under medical supervision.  John Lennon and George Harrison were habitual users of LDS.  So, many jumped to the conclusion that the Beatles’ song Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds was a wink-and-a-nod to LSD.  NOT, Lennon claimed.  Just a coincidence.  Sure.  Don’t think we need LSD in our medicine cabinets.

And, remember mushrooms?  Not the ones you find on your salad or pizza!  We’re referring to mushrooms containing the hallucinogenic compound psilocybin that alters mental states. 

Let us introduce you to “functional mushrooms.”  This phrase describes mushrooms that have health benefits beyond their nutritional value.  They can enhance immune support, increase energy and endurance, reduce stress, and, importantly, improve cognitive function.  Yes!  They come in gummies too. 

Jake Plummer, a former Broncos quarterback, has a company called Umbro that produces all sorts of products from functional mushrooms he promotes for athletes.  Check out some stuff on his website that isn’t just for pros or google “mushroom gummies health.”  Add them to your medicine cabinet and have fun telling friends you are doing shrooms!!

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Get your medical marijuana card!  Have fun at the DEA Museum on a trip east.  The grandkids can be sworn in as Junior Special Agents and experience a virtual mission.  Get a bit more creative about what’s in your medicine cabinet.  But, maybe attach a sign inside your cabinet that reads: I’ll forget about you looking in my medicine cabinet if you forget about the bathroom camera catching you snooping. 

Wrinkled Wisdom – Open Sesame!

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If only we could just repeat Ali Baba’s magical command, “open sesame,” when attempting to unscrew jars and bottles or unseal plastic packing and cans.

We are so delighted to learn we are not alone!  Surveys indicate that most of us say that everything has become harder to open and we are all angry and frustrated about it.  That anger even has names!  Wrap rage!  Package rage!

We were stunned by research on injuries from trying to open problematic packaging.  Over 70% of respondents to a survey said they had hurt themselves.  Cut fingers and bruised hands.  Sprained wrists.  Strained shoulder muscles.  One year, over 60,000 people received hospital treatment after struggling to open something. 

A late-night show host made a point one night using a knife to try to remove his new calculator from its plastic packing.  Nope, he couldn’t do it.  We clapped!  Join the club!

Glass jars are one of the most complained-about types of packaging.  They are vacuum-sealed so tightly you need superhuman strength to get them undone.  We bang it on the floor.  It breaks the seal and we feel better after expressing our package rage.  Take that!

At one time, the electric can opener was a novelty.  We were ecstatic to ditch that manual can opener that often skipped sections of the can lid.  Now many cans have that pop-up feature; yet, too often we can’t lift these ring-pull seals.  If we use our special pop-top opener tool, we sometimes can’t get a good grip on the can, spilling liquid everywhere.  Nope.  Not a happy camper.

Twist off caps.  Great invention!!  Don’t need a church key anymore.  But, good luck with that twist.  Thankfully, those round rubber grips or kitchen rubber gloves have saved us time and mental aggravation.  Verbal abuse has also been used. 

Those seals under the lid of products like coffee creamers, heartburn-soothing liquids, and some cans of peanuts cause all kinds of grief.  Who can grip that teeny tiny tab near the rim??   No, teeth don’t work.  Tried that.  We just jab it with a knife.  So, there!!!  And…if the seal is tinfoil, you have to get it completely off to recycle the bottle.  No punching holes for immediate gratification. 

We continue to be amused by directions saying “tear here.”  Forget about it!  Scissors are the answer…a true kitchen tool.  And those resealable products?  Sometimes we reseal them, and then can’t reopen them!  More package rage!

Medicine bottles.  Press down and turn.  Well, some of us just don’t have the strength. So, we just leave the bottles open and try not to knock them over.  Out of reach of animals and grandkids, of course! 

Manufacturers argue that packaging is designed to be child-resistant or intentionally made difficult to reduce pilferage and shoplifting.   Also, remember the Tylenol scare?   Seven people were poisoned after buying Tylenol at grocery and drug stores that an extortionist deliberately laced with cyanide.  The widespread fear resulted in government regulation requiring tamper-resistant packaging.  Some companies take the three-pronged approach.  That includes a seal under the bottle cap, a plastic cup over the cap, and the flaps of the box glued shut.  A little over the top, giggle?

Arthritis Australia is trying to give us a hand, literally.  The organization’s Accessible Design Division educates the industry about functional limitations caused by arthritis and aging.  Their Easy to Open certification program has collaborated with over 65 organizations, including food companies, to make it easier to open stuff.  Thank you!

And, if you want gadgets to keep you from fuming in the kitchen, take a look at the openers on the Essential Aids website.  They are both helpful and entertaining.  You’ll need to dedicate a kitchen drawer to all they offer but you’ll lower your blood pressure. 

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Call, write, or email all companies whose products you struggle to open.  Exercise your consumer power!  Can’t open it, won’t buy it again. Have grandkids?  Ask them to post a video of you wrestling to open a jar or bottle.  Put away those razor blades, box cutters, and ice picks.  Investing in a few gadget openers will be cheaper than the hospital bill.  A trip to the ER is not on your bucket list!  And remember, OPEN SESAME only works in the movies!

Wrinkled Wisdom:  2023 Deaths: Plaudits and Scuttlebutt

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It’s 2024 and numbers of articles have discussed prominent individuals who died last year.  Our response to their obituaries was often—huh…they were still alive??  Obits often leave the “interesting” stuff unsaid.

Let’s start with politics.  Lost some special women:  Sandra Day O’Connor, the first woman to serve on the Supreme Court, and former first lady Rosalynn Carter, who raised eyebrows for attending cabinet meetings and White House briefings.  Go, girls!

Italian actress Gina Lollobrigida was often described as the most beautiful woman in the world.  Americans were first introduced to her when she starred in the English-language film, Beat the Devil, in1953.  Two years ago, at 95, she ran for a Senate seat in Italy’s parliament for a second time and lost again.  Hmmm…does that put age and politics in a new perspective? 

Oscar-winning actress Glenda Jackson left acting to enter British politics.  After serving as an MP for more than 20 years, she retired in 2015 at age 79 and returned to acting, playing a 104-year-old in a BBC Radio production of Emile Zola’s Blood Sex and Money.  On radio.  She only had to sound old.

Needless to say, obits for President Nixon’s Secretary of State Henry Kissinger did not describe him as the “ultimate starf*cker,” sex symbol, and ladies’ man as did the Hollywood Reporter.  Kissinger???  The list of stars with whom he reportedly had been romantically linked is amazing.  Guess he was right when he said “power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.”  Honestly, it sure wasn’t his looks.

Daniel Ellsberg changed the world when he leaked the Pentagon Papers that laid out how the government was misleading the public about the Vietnam War.  President Nixon attempted to destroy him.  Things didn’t go well for Nixon.  He resigned after his Watergate antics were uncovered.  Ellsberg died a hero.  He was eulogized in the 2003 TV movie The Pentagon Papers.  Actor Alan Arkin, who also died last year, played Ellsberg’s boss in the movie. 

And, now, let’s look at the individuals who were advocates for important causes.

In her book, I, Tina, the “Queen of Rock and Roll” Tina Turner wrote about the abuse she suffered while married to her husband and singing partner Ike at a time when domestic abuse wasn’t talked about openly.  She was hailed for ending the shame associated with abusive relationships and motivating other survivors to share their stories and leave their spouses.  There is some irony to her story.

After she divorced Ike, her careen spiraled downward.  Then a British band invited her to cut a new take on Al Green’s classic hit “Let’s Stay Together.”  A line in the song is: “Why, oh tell me, why do people break up?”  Huh???  She knew that answer!  Happily, the song captured the attention of Capital Records and boosted her career.

Harry Belafonte death last year ended the life of one of the most influential Black figures of the 1950s.  He used his star power to fight for civil rights. 

The Price is Right host, Bob Barker, was an avid animal rights advocate.  His concern was the millions of pets being euthanized because of a lack of homes for them.  He founded an organization that provided free or inexpensive sterilization of cats and dogs and poured $25 million into the charity.  We do especially like one of his fun lines: “I can tell you that I’d rather be kissed by my dogs than by some people I’ve known.” 

Can’t resist adding a few entertaining stories.  A publicity shot of Raquel Welch in a fur hide bikini for the movie One Million Years, B.C. turned her into a sex symbol.  However, she lamented that being a sex symbol was “rather like being a convict.”  She got even.  She kicked men in the groin in 15 of her films. 

Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber, died serving a life sentence for sending bombs through the mail for 18 years.  He was concerned about the environment and the effects of technology and wanted to destroy modern life.  Ironically, when he was arrested, officers found trash everywhere in and around his Montana cabin where he was hiding.  So much for the environment!  Fun fact.  His cabin is on display at FBI headquarters.  Not the trash.

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Enjoy Turner’s take on aging.  “Fifty is the new 30.  Seventy is the new 50.  There are no rules that say you have to dress a certain way, or be a certain way.  If you look good and you can still do it, then go and do it.”  Tony Bennett obviously got that message.  He celebrated his 95th birthday performing in New York City’s Radio City Music Hall followed by a TV special with Lady Gaga.  It’s never too late to add to that bucket list.