We’ve all had the blues. We’ve all been so angry we saw red. We’ve been green with envy and white as a sheet. We get the powerful ways colors can describe emotions. And, marketers certainly take advantage of the psychological sway of colors.  

Green has soothing and healing properties. It’s commonly used to brand pharmaceutical products. Dark green reeks of ambition and good taste—a favorite of financial institutions. Navy blue is corporate and serious. Universities and lawyers love it for branding. However, the younger generation now considers those ubiquitous men’s navy blue blazers stodgy and archaic and symbolizing complacency. Someone should tell Prince Charles…oops! King Charles.

Pink is calming and nurturing. Who knew if you ended up in prison you could find your cell walls painted pink to calm you down and reduce aggression. Not kidding! Wall colors can also boost office productivity and job satisfaction and impact how clients and customers perceive a business.

Colors. Colors. Colors!  Color wheels, colors palettes, color schemes (how do they scheme together?), color families, color trends, clashing colors, quiet colors, soothing colors, cool and cooling colors, hot colors, warm colors, bright colors, neon colors, school colors, team colors….  

So, let’s have some fun with the names of new 2023 paint colors!!  

Benjamin Moore has created Raspberry Blush. It’s described like this: “A vivacious shade of coral tinged with pink, Raspberry Blush enlivens the senses with an electric optimism.” OMG. Not sure that analogy works for us. To us, coral tinged with pink elicits an image of an unripe raspberry. We are still processing “electric optimism.”  

Pantone’s Digital Lavender is supposedly “very close to 2022’s Veri Peri, a periwinkle blue.” Are they running out of NEW colors? We’re all in with recycling. But, what the heck does digital mean in this context? Digital suggests technology, clocks, and fingers. We get the lavender, we think.

Other paint color names attempt to create a mood like Valspar’s new color Gentle Violet. We’re guessing it’s supposed to create a calming environment? 

Then, there are new color names we’re just not into. Take Valspar’s Rising Tide. Wait! With today’s melting ice caps, we wonder about that name choice. Also, a rising tide is defined as an increase in the amount of something like rising crime.  Need a new marketing team?

Also not fond of these name choices: Blue Arrow and Desert Carnation.  Blue Arrow makes us of think of traffic. Yes, we know there’s no blue arrow…but.  And a desert carnation does not exist according to Google. So, the name means what???

Vintage Homestead Colors announced that they are reviving “design elements from the past,” including vintage décor. Sounds tempting. However, then we checked out the names of their wall colors: Poetry Plum, Restrained Gold, Natural Linen, and Darkroom. Never would we ever have paired poetry and plum. No visual for us. Restrained Gold is apparently, well, restrained, not bright or neon or something. Just restrained. Someone was pursuing their synonym list! 

Natural Linen just makes us think of wrinkles. And, finally, Darkroom? Sure just looks like regular black paint. Guess it’s supposed to conjure up the old days when there was something around called film for cameras.

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today? We commiserate with your frustration as you stand in front of paint chip displays and are a bit overwhelmed. Guess that’s why interior designers’ marketing touts reducing your stress. Try holding a paint chip next to the whitest color to see its true tint. Be sure to save paint chips! Just like your favorite nail polish and lipstick, your living room paint color could be dropped from the company’s inventory!! Keep a list of the colors you have used in each room and label the paint cans in the basement to give to the buyers when you sell your house. They will be…well…tickled pink!