health

Wrinkled Wisdom – What Kind of Shot?

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Tequila, vodka, whiskey, and jello—we’ve done lots of shots in our day. When we seniors now talk about shots, we are not talking about liquor, bars, and fun, we’re talking about vaccines.  Let’s look at our many options!

We all had chickenpox as kids.  Shingles is caused by the same virus, which stays dormant in the body just waiting to cause that painful itch and the rash and swelling that can make us look like a duckbilled platypus.  About half of all shingles cases nail adults 60 or older.  “Shingles doesn’t care” shouts one TV ad.  We do!  The good news?  The newest vaccine can last seven years.  Gee, quite a bargain.

Pneumonia is a pneumococcal disease and another problem that increases as we age.  Sir William Osler, a Canadian physician and one of the founders of Johns Hopkins Hospital who died over a century ago, called pneumonia the “old man’s friend.”  Like heck!  No one appreciates his joke.  Symptoms in seniors include fatigue, chills, and shortness of breath.  Hmmm.  Breathing seems pretty important.  More good news.  The pneumonia vaccine for seniors stops 50 to 70 percent of pneumonia infections.  So there, Sir Osler!

No wonder everyone is referring to RSV as RSV.  Respiratory Syncytial Virus??  This was a new one on us.  Symptoms are like the common cold.  TV ads are sure pushing vaccines for this virus; but, interestingly, some doctors aren’t. 

Measles are making a comeback after the disease was eradicated from the U.S. in 2000.   Don’t worry.  If you had the measles vaccine as a kid, you are protected for life.  Whew!  But, if the grandkids get those red blotchy rashes, maybe sweetly decline to babysit them just in case.

We thought polio was consigned to history.  But, it’s back; baby it’s back.  A bit.  Remember those scary iron lungs??…those huge, round mechanical respirators that enclosed most of the sick person’s body?   Thankfully, no need to put the polio vaccine on your list if, like us, you were vaccinated as a kid.

Yes, we get our flu shots every year.  Add that to the list.  And, be sure to get one if you are going on a cruise.  That’s on doctor’s orders!

Holy cow, the list of vaccines you might have to get if you are traveling overseas is huge—yellow fever, Tdap (tetanus, diphtheria, pertussis), typhoid, and cholera to name a few.  If you are heading to Asia, add the Japanese encephalitis vaccine.  The infection is caused by a mosquito bite and swells your brain.  Do you have travel medical insurance??

What about the avian flu?  Been tough on backyard and commercial chicken flocks.  Now it’s infecting dairy cows and has been found in some milk.  Don’t buy any raw milk at a farm stand!  Poor chickens!  The Department of Agriculture is about a year away from a vaccine for this strain.  A French vaccine for ducks is only 80% effective.  Poor us.  Price of eggs.  Only one farmworker has gotten the virus, but vaccine trials are underway just in case.  Oh, no, another pandemic threat???  

The Covid pandemic was bad enough and that disease here to stay.  It is the “Song that Never Ends.” 

Cases of the sexually transmitted infectious disease syphilis are reportedly soaring in the U.S.   There is no approved vaccine for syphilis; but, even if there were, don’t think we oldies would need to add that one to our list.  Well, if you are on a dating site, be aware!

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Think about having that shot of alcohol after getting a shot or shots in your arms.  How many arms do we have???  Only two.  Docs say it’s okay to get several vaccines at the same time and even in the same arm…an inch apart.  No chronic health problems caused.  Note the word “chronic.”  We’re retired.  We have time.  We’ll make multiple appointments, thank you.

Wrinkled Wisdom – Huh?  That’s in your Medicine Cabinet?

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Mary Jane, not just a ski area in Colorado.  Grass, not just your lawn.  Pot, not just for soup.  Joints, not just elbows and wrists.  Doobie, not just the rock band brothers.  There are loads of nicknames for cannabis and the marijuana cigarettes we used to roll.

Oops!  We were recently corrected by a 20-year-old for referring to marijuana as dope.  Nope.  That’s out.  Younger generations call it weed.  Hmmm…maybe a shortened version of locoweed, which causes horses and cattle to act a bit crazy if they eat the plant?

The oldest study of cannabis’ medicinal potential was documented by Chinese emperor Shen Nung in 2,727 B.C., who used himself as a test subject.  That’s according to the Drug Enforcement Administration’s DEA Museum in Arlington, VA.  Yes, there is such a thing.  Some historians say marijuana has been around for 8,000 to 12,000 years. 

Everything changed with the 1937 Marihuana Tax Act.  It paved the way for the criminalization of marijuana.  No, that wasn’t a typo.  Both spellings of marijuana/marihuana are correct, but today the one with the “h” is mostly used in legal contexts because of the 1937 bill.  However, the times they are a-changin’.  Only seven states haven’t approved marijuana for medical purposes; 24 states have okayed weed for recreational use.  Not the Feds. 

You may have indulged in your youth and you may now be revisiting those days as you look for relief from a variety of health issues.  There are tons of cannabinoids.  You may ignore THC that gives you the high, but be all in for CBD for pain relief.  

Don’t worry, you will fit right in at the dispensary.  Use of marijuana by older adults went up 455 % 10 years ago and just keeps rising.  Love the headline “Why Some Seniors Are Choosing Pot Over Pills.”  The list of ailments helped by weed are amazingly extensive…inflammation; muscle, joint, back, and knee pain; migraines; arthritis; insomnia; and more.  Lots of options!!  Gummies.  Creams and patches for sore spots.  Just talk to your budtender!!  

Then there is LSD, Timothy Leary’s favorite drug.  Acid trips!  Bad trips.  Flashbacks!  There is renewed interest in this potent hallucinogen to treat addiction, depression, anxiety, and PTSD…under medical supervision.  John Lennon and George Harrison were habitual users of LDS.  So, many jumped to the conclusion that the Beatles’ song Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds was a wink-and-a-nod to LSD.  NOT, Lennon claimed.  Just a coincidence.  Sure.  Don’t think we need LSD in our medicine cabinets.

And, remember mushrooms?  Not the ones you find on your salad or pizza!  We’re referring to mushrooms containing the hallucinogenic compound psilocybin that alters mental states. 

Let us introduce you to “functional mushrooms.”  This phrase describes mushrooms that have health benefits beyond their nutritional value.  They can enhance immune support, increase energy and endurance, reduce stress, and, importantly, improve cognitive function.  Yes!  They come in gummies too. 

Jake Plummer, a former Broncos quarterback, has a company called Umbro that produces all sorts of products from functional mushrooms he promotes for athletes.  Check out some stuff on his website that isn’t just for pros or google “mushroom gummies health.”  Add them to your medicine cabinet and have fun telling friends you are doing shrooms!!

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Get your medical marijuana card!  Have fun at the DEA Museum on a trip east.  The grandkids can be sworn in as Junior Special Agents and experience a virtual mission.  Get a bit more creative about what’s in your medicine cabinet.  But, maybe attach a sign inside your cabinet that reads: I’ll forget about you looking in my medicine cabinet if you forget about the bathroom camera catching you snooping. 

Visual Acuity

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Ghosts!!?? Apparitions of some sort!!??

Okay, we don’t believe in ghosts.  But, what are those flickers of light in the corners of our eyes that create the illusion of elusive shadows lurking around the house?

Time to visit the eye doctor for a reality check.  Hmmm.  Just manifestations of eye issues, we’re told— “floaters,” leaky vitreous fluid, double vision (there are not two dogs coming toward you), macular pucker, stressed retinas, cataracts (get the upgraded lens), and corneal conditions….take your pick.

Ah…..another sign of aging.

Everyday visual challenges are exasperating.  Can’t read the number on the prescription bottle to reorder.  Can’t read the amount owed on bills.  Can’t read the due date for paying the bills.   Don’t these organizations realize that some of their customers are oldies?  Use larger print!  Seeable colors!  The easy answer?  A magnifying glass.  Oh, and yes, perhaps we should opt for paying bills online.

Wow.  Amazon really hypes magnifiers with lights for seniors, emphasizing that they end struggling to read tiny print.  The promo language also points out that these magnifiers are great for reading in bed without waking your partner, and are useful for parents and school nurses inspecting children for lice.  Okay.  Hadn’t thought of that.  Bad image!

We’re oldies, but we do own a cell phone and have learned to use its flashlight to read menus in dimly lit restaurants.  Carrying around a magnifying glass would be a bit embarrassing.

Not only has a magnifying glass now become a necessity to read fine print, a magnifying mirror has become essential paraphernalia.  Essential for nailing those black and white hairs growing from our chins, those errant hairs emerging from our ears and noses, and those seemingly foot-long ones jutting out of our eyebrows!  Yes!

Other visual challenges?  How about coping with the glare from headlights while driving at night or sun reflections during the day?  Yikes, those low, huge, setting suns are stunning…stunning in their ability to blind us!  What’s happening?  Those darn lenses are scattering the light as it enters our eyes rather than being focused precisely on the retina, creating an exaggerated glare.  Listen for glare warnings from traffic helicopters.  Really, weather reports include glare!  Wow, who knew?

And, it’s tougher when we are going someplace we haven’t been before at night because reading street names in the dark from a distance is almost impossible.  Love it when it is a numbered street.  Easy, 112th comes after 111th.  But, then they squeeze in a street with a name!  Rude!

Got a giggle when older friends would jokingly say they only dated individuals who could drive at night.  Thought they were kidding.  They weren’t.

“Visual acuity” is defined as the sharpness of our vision.  The test for visual acuity is our ability to identify which vile line of those tiny letters we can still see when tested at the eye doctor’s.  We flunk.  Who doesn’t need reading glasses at our age?  Thank heavens the eye chart for drivers’ licenses is more forgiving, and we don’t have to wear glasses while driving.

We recently wrote about being both literally and figurative thin-skinned.  Visual acuity is the visual equivalent.  We can’t see some stuff, and we really don’t want to see some other stuff.

So our wrinkled wisdom for today?  Make your ophthalmologist your best friend.  Forget hoping for good grades on that visual acuity test.  Can’t read something?  Forget your pride and grab the magnifying glass.  When searching for that least noisy restaurant table, check out the lighting, too.  And, remember, the CEO of Uber said people won’t own cars in 10 years, so night driving won’t be a problem.  Of course, it won’t matter to us since by then the kids will have taken the keys and put Uber/Lyft apps on our cellphones.

Old Is the New New

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No, we aren’t talking about consignment shops. We’re talking about the changing face of America.

The world’s older population continues to grow at an unprecedented rate.  There are now over 72 million boomers and another 50-odd million people who belong to the “silent” generation.  And, our growth is outpacing every other demographic group.  In fact, by 2030, one in five Americans will be 65 or older.  A virtual tsunami of oldies!

Old is the new new!  That should earn us a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T!  With this reference, we are broadening the feminist theme of Aretha Franklin’s 1967 hit.

Interestingly, speaking of respect, did you know we have our own government agency?  It’s called the National Institute on Aging (NIA).  It’s part of the National Institute of Health, which we all know as NIH, and is charged with studying aging and extending our healthy, active years of life.  Alzheimer’s disease is an important focus.  Oh, and testosterone therapy.

There is power in numbers.  Money talks.   Ah, sometimes adages and their general truths are apropos if a bit overused.  As a group, we oldies have tremendous economic clout.  Seniors control nearly a third of total U.S. net wealth.  Advertisers need to catch on!

And, marketers are wising up…albeit…slowly.  They are recognizing that we spend and it’s not just on cruises, medical alert systems, senior living facilities, and Depends.  Research underscores that we are significant buyers of cars and Apple products.   Hence the recent AARP headline:  Automakers Rediscover and Create for Boomers.

How propitious that self-driving cars are being developed just as we are aging!  How very thoughtful.  And, another fun headline: Self-driving Vehicles and Baby Boomers: A Budding Relationship.

Yet, advertisers have a long, long way to go.  Today, less than five percent of advertising targets the baby boomer market.  Most advertising dollars are spent catering to 18 to 34 year-olds.  Forbes magazine calls us the most neglected, wealthy group in the history of marketing.

And, important to advertisers, we Google.  We check our e-mail on our smartphones. We order stuff online.  We use social media.  We have Facebook pages.  We check out YouTube.  In fact, baby boomers describe themselves as heavy Internet users. The average broadcast media viewer is now over 50, which is really a profound change that will greatly impact television advertising.

Marketers, do the math!  Get over gerontophobia.  And, learn to talk to us in a way that reflects some reality.

And, wow, do they have a lot to learn.  Most seniors don’t like the advertising aimed at them.  It isn’t realistic or respectful, according to polls.  It’s stereotypic.  We want ads that capture our attention, entertain us, inform us, and respect us.

Okay, we all don’t look like Jane Fonda at 79.  Who can afford that much cosmetic surgery?  However, we do enjoy a beautiful oldie being featured in ads for L’Oreal skin cream aimed at women of all ages.  One of our favorites is an ad for Aldi, a German discount grocery chain with stores in the U.S.  It features an older woman, who, after pointing out the teas she buys for her husband, shares with the viewing audience: “I don’t like tea.  I like gin.”

As marketing changes and matures (is that a pun?), we hope to see an end to articles and discussions about ageism being the last politically correct prejudice.  We understand that mockery of older people masks fears of growing old.  We’re guilty.  Remember when we were in our 20s and dissed 30-year olds as over the hill?  Maybe that’s already changing.  A recent study shows that the younger generation’s greatest fear is their phone batteries running low.  We could create a fun analogy about aging, but won’t.

So our wrinkled wisdom for today?  Lift a glass.  Make a toast.  We’re not invisible anymore!  Give to the National Institute for Aging.  Yes, it’s a federal agency, but Congress made an exception and it can accept donations.  And, it’s OUR federal agency.  If an Aldi store comes to your area, shop there.  The management obviously has a great sense of humor.  When advertisements feature seniors in a fun and respectful manner, buy the product— after you Google the reviews, of course.