COVID-19

Wrinkled Wisdom – Good Hair, Good Mood, Good Day

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In our youth, hippies—including some of us—sported long hair as a symbol of rebellion.  The 1967 musical Hair tells the story of the movement’s nonconformity, sexual revolution, and loathing for the Vietnam War and its horrifying draft lottery.  Young men waited in immense anxiety and fear as birthdates were pulled from a bin, mandating who would be forced to put on a uniform and cut off that long hair!

A line from Hair’s title song is our mantra today: “Give me a head with hair.” 

Hair is important!  It plays an essential role in regulating body temperature.  It’s linked to self-confidence and self-esteem, intimating youthfulness in women and virility in men.

Wow.  Statistics indicate that women commonly start experiencing hair loss between the ages of 40 and 50.  For men, it’s worse!  Hair loss can start in their late teens.  A quarter of all men show signs of male pattern baldness by age 30 and those numbers hit 50% by age 50.  Hair-raising stats!!!!  Covid didn’t help; caused hair shedding.  And, there’s even a term for those of us losing hair or balding.  We are follically-challenged. 

So, what are we ladies to do??  AI thinks the bob is the best haircut for 70-year-old and older women.  Our movie star idols sure agree.  Gone are their long tresses.  Most now have a “curly” bob.  A son recently commented at dinner that his mom’s new bob was an old lady “do.”  He was right.  But, no dessert for him!

Men can get away with shaving their heads and looking cool.  A comb over?  NEVER!  They can grow facial hair to distract from their baldness.  Forget the facial hair option for we women! 

We always thought having our hair cut often would make it grow faster.  Nope!  Also thought rigorous brushing would stimulate blood flow to the scalp and boost hair growth.  Nope!  Neither is true.  In fact, brushing causes friction, leading to cuticle damage and hair breakage.

The global market for hair loss treatment products was about $10 billion in 2024.  Yikes!  Americans obviously aren’t the only ones who are paranoid about losing their hair!  Rogaine.  Propecia.  Something called Peptides??  Can’t forget the supplements—vitamins, minerals, and herbal blends.  The FDA has even approved several low-level laser devices to restore hair.  One company sells a cap with lasers inside for $1,699.00!  We didn’t budget for that.

There are shampoos, conditioners, serums, and oils galore that claim to promote hair growth.  Some even contain caffeine.  No, having your cup of coffee in the morning won’t help hair growth, but there are studies indicating that applying caffeine topically could be beneficial.  Taking a pass on that. 

Then there is PRP, platelet-rich plasma. A doctor takes your blood, which is processed to concentrate platelets, and then injects it into your scalp.  OUCH!  Don’t forget hair plugs.  Well, not the old kind of plugs that are passe due to their unnatural appearance, scarring, and limited density!  Doctors now offer FUE or FUT hair grafts.  Know your stuff before the doc pulls out the scalpel.

With these countless products on the market to grow hair, you would think that if one delivered miracle results, we would all know about it.  Oh, the thing experts do agree on?   Loosen that ponytail!!  Excessive pulling and tension on the hair shaft causes hair loss. So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Brush your hair just a tad.  Don’t wash it daily.  Counterintuitively, start using baby shampoo.  Eat omega-3 foods…nuts, fish, and avocados.  Yes, wigs are a last resort but hats work on bad hair days.  When out for drinks, have a friend keep an eye on that “hot spot” in the back of your head and have a comb handy.   You know what we’re talking about.  Remember, you can’t control everything—your hair was put on your head to emphasize that!

Wrinkled Wisdom – What Kind of Shot?

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Tequila, vodka, whiskey, and jello—we’ve done lots of shots in our day. When we seniors now talk about shots, we are not talking about liquor, bars, and fun, we’re talking about vaccines.  Let’s look at our many options!

We all had chickenpox as kids.  Shingles is caused by the same virus, which stays dormant in the body just waiting to cause that painful itch and the rash and swelling that can make us look like a duckbilled platypus.  About half of all shingles cases nail adults 60 or older.  “Shingles doesn’t care” shouts one TV ad.  We do!  The good news?  The newest vaccine can last seven years.  Gee, quite a bargain.

Pneumonia is a pneumococcal disease and another problem that increases as we age.  Sir William Osler, a Canadian physician and one of the founders of Johns Hopkins Hospital who died over a century ago, called pneumonia the “old man’s friend.”  Like heck!  No one appreciates his joke.  Symptoms in seniors include fatigue, chills, and shortness of breath.  Hmmm.  Breathing seems pretty important.  More good news.  The pneumonia vaccine for seniors stops 50 to 70 percent of pneumonia infections.  So there, Sir Osler!

No wonder everyone is referring to RSV as RSV.  Respiratory Syncytial Virus??  This was a new one on us.  Symptoms are like the common cold.  TV ads are sure pushing vaccines for this virus; but, interestingly, some doctors aren’t. 

Measles are making a comeback after the disease was eradicated from the U.S. in 2000.   Don’t worry.  If you had the measles vaccine as a kid, you are protected for life.  Whew!  But, if the grandkids get those red blotchy rashes, maybe sweetly decline to babysit them just in case.

We thought polio was consigned to history.  But, it’s back; baby it’s back.  A bit.  Remember those scary iron lungs??…those huge, round mechanical respirators that enclosed most of the sick person’s body?   Thankfully, no need to put the polio vaccine on your list if, like us, you were vaccinated as a kid.

Yes, we get our flu shots every year.  Add that to the list.  And, be sure to get one if you are going on a cruise.  That’s on doctor’s orders!

Holy cow, the list of vaccines you might have to get if you are traveling overseas is huge—yellow fever, Tdap (tetanus, diphtheria, pertussis), typhoid, and cholera to name a few.  If you are heading to Asia, add the Japanese encephalitis vaccine.  The infection is caused by a mosquito bite and swells your brain.  Do you have travel medical insurance??

What about the avian flu?  Been tough on backyard and commercial chicken flocks.  Now it’s infecting dairy cows and has been found in some milk.  Don’t buy any raw milk at a farm stand!  Poor chickens!  The Department of Agriculture is about a year away from a vaccine for this strain.  A French vaccine for ducks is only 80% effective.  Poor us.  Price of eggs.  Only one farmworker has gotten the virus, but vaccine trials are underway just in case.  Oh, no, another pandemic threat???  

The Covid pandemic was bad enough and that disease here to stay.  It is the “Song that Never Ends.” 

Cases of the sexually transmitted infectious disease syphilis are reportedly soaring in the U.S.   There is no approved vaccine for syphilis; but, even if there were, don’t think we oldies would need to add that one to our list.  Well, if you are on a dating site, be aware!

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  Think about having that shot of alcohol after getting a shot or shots in your arms.  How many arms do we have???  Only two.  Docs say it’s okay to get several vaccines at the same time and even in the same arm…an inch apart.  No chronic health problems caused.  Note the word “chronic.”  We’re retired.  We have time.  We’ll make multiple appointments, thank you.

Wrinkled Wisdom – Another Long Covid Symptom: Rudeness

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There has been much news coverage of the Center for Disease Control’s list of lingering, long Covid symptoms—depression, brain fog, headaches, dizziness.  Let’s demand that the CDC add rudeness to its list! 

Okay, the pandemic was a tough time for everyone.  We were locked up and masked up.  Social ties weakened.  Sleep patterns got screwed up.  Supply chain issues.  War.  Inflation! 

Researchers argue that all these challenges adversely impacted the ability to manage stress and control emotions.  Statistics show that stress is the leading cause of incivility.  That’s a fancy word for rudeness.  Think disrespectful, contemptuous, presumptuous.  Researchers have even given it a name—post-COVID rudeness syndrome.

Road rage has hit an all-time high.  We have all experienced more drivers exhibiting rude behavior, including tailgating, speeding, running red lights, and making illegal turns.  A website that helps consumers compare rates for auto insurance has listed the city with the most drivers cited for rude behavior in every U.S. state.  A city in California takes the cake.  But, OMG.  Broomfield, Colorado?  That’s just down the road. 

And, we found some interesting statistics for your family dinner.  Most people will crash their cars three to four times in a lifetime.  Over 50% of accidents happen within five miles of your home.  Talking on the phone while driving increases chances of getting into a car accident by 400%.  Ouch!

Then there are the movies.  A recent headline read: “Behavior at ‘Barbenheimer’ Reflects a Worrying Trend.”  Subhead: “Drunken outbursts, public nudity, and nonstop cellphone use disrupts packed theaters.  Have people forgotten how to go the movies?” 

Guess so. 

Saw Oppenheimer.  Really long movie.  No naked people in the theater.  Darn!  A guy, appropriately, wrote on Twitter… oops…sorry…now X, “if you don’t have the attention span for a three-hour movie, don’t leave the house to attend one.”  Just wait for it to stream.

Surprisingly, popular singers and musicians are not immune from rudeness while on stage.  People have thrown things at Cardi B and Harry Styles and others.  Wait!  When Taylor Swift came to Denver, a Colorado report emphasized that her fans spent more than $200 million in two days on hotels, restaurants, parking, and retail.  Don’t piss off these stars; they won’t come back! 

A Playbill exposé about aggression toward ushers and other Broadway theater workers, titled, “Physical Assault, Vomit in the Aisles, Stalking in the Streets: Why Audience Misbehavior Has Gotten Out of Hand,” was pulled because theater magnates were concerned that people would stay…well…off-Broadway.

An American Airlines pilot’s introductory remarks before the flight takeoff went viral as he gave an impassioned speech on proper manners to the “selfish and rude” passengers he said he sees on every single flight.  “Don’t lean on other people.  Don’t fall asleep on other people.  Don’t drool on them, unless you’ve talked about it and they have a weather-resistant jacket.”

Once these people get off the plane, their behavior apparently doesn’t improve.  It appears that this is the summer of ugly tourists around the world.  Vandalism.  Tantrums.  They are damaging century-old monuments and statues like carving a heart and initials into the historic Leaning Tower of Pisa.  We think there are more constructive ways to say “I love you!”

As the pandemic eased, workers quit jobs in restaurants, bars and hotels at the highest rate in decades, saying they’ve never seen customers behaving so badly.  One Cape Cod restaurant shut down for a “day of kindness” because of verbal abuse from rude customers.  The final straw came when a man lashed out at a young employee who told him he couldn’t take his breakfast takeout order because the restaurant had not yet opened.  The customer is NOT always right!

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?   Recognize that reentry into polite society is still proving a bit bumpy for some people after Covid.  Stay away from rude individuals when you can because, according to Harvard research, rudeness is like the common cold.  Anyone can be a carrier.  It’s contagious!  If you can’t avoid a rude person, feign concern and say…oh, dear…see your doctor right away.  You could have post-COVID rudeness syndrome.  Oh, and don’t forget to tip well! 

Wrinkled Wisdom – Fashion: We’ve Forgotten How to Dress

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As we’re feeling a bit more positive about Covid’s fading future and venturing out, there’s just one problem. We’ve forgotten how to dress. Sure, one leg at a time. But we’ve spent two years simply pulling on those sweatpants and leggings with elastic waists. Have those muscles needed to fasten buttons and zip zippers atrophied? Does it still fit? Is it still in style? We haven’t been challenged to dress for the occasion since there’s been no occasion.

We used to stick to the axiom that if you haven’t worn a piece of clothing for a year, it’s time to get rid of it, donate it, repurpose it, or downgrade it for wearing to clean, paint, do yard work, or sleep in. That’s a problem in light of the pandemic. It literally describes a huge chunk of what’s in our closet, plus most of our accessories and shoes!

Speaking of sleeping in it, fashionistas are freaked by people wearing pajamas in public during the pandemic although people have long been doing it. Years ago, Teen Vogue published an article titled “Stylish Ways to Wear Pajamas in Public.” Another old article opened, “If you’re a grown-up person who has not recently been diagnosed with a mental disorder and you’ve gone out in public in your pajamas, you need to know two things. First of all, you look like an idiot; and, secondly, stop doing this. Immediately.”

We all want to be fashionable or, as with some of our younger relatives, be deliberately unfashionable or retro or artsy or Goth or hipster, or rapper, or Lady Gaga or Pharrell, or imitative of other trends we “seasoned” citizens don’t always get.

And, think about it. Fashion is cyclical. It’s promoted in magazine ads, introduced on runways, and flaunted on TikTok. What have we missed during two years of lockup? Clothes are a form of self-expression. They make a statement. We are all guilty of making split-second judgments based others’ appearance.

Yves Saint Laurent once said, “Fashions fade, style is eternal.” We’re giggling. Yes, wide-legged slacks, tie dye stuff, bell-bottoms, maxi skirts, minis, and hot pants have faded from our closets. Remember Saturday night parties with black velvet hot pants, fishnet stockings, and heels? We do have clothes from the ‘80s we still wear, but did take the shoulder pads out of the jackets. Thankfully, jeans have survived since James Dean popularized them in the 1955 movie Rebel Without a Cause. Entertained by the articles saying we’re too old to wear the trendy ripped jeans? And, we’d want to????

That brings up the question many ask about dressing appropriately for our age. Stop worrying! Of course, there are limits. Don’t wear that dress Cher wore to the 1986 Oscars. Or look like someone who still has a landline, as the kids say. “Dress your age” is a line more appropriate to throw at that teenager who spends her time taking photos of herself in suggestive apparel and posting them on internet sites. Be a kid while you can.

Staying fashionable requires shopping. We like hands-on shopping. We like to feel the fabric.  We like to try it on. But we are finding, like many people, we don’t have our old shopping stamina. Shopping online surged during the pandemic. But, beware! Companies are cutting corners, using cheaper, synthetic materials for clothes that are poorly made.  Make sure you aren’t shy about returning!

We like timeless clothes. We like black. We like well-fitting jeans, though that may be an eternal quest. We like a flattering bathing suit, which is probably an oxymoron as we age. And, that’s if you’ve got the guts to wear one.

And, some fun news! “At Prada, It’s in With the Old” shouted a recent headline. Instead of waiting for us to check into an old folks’ home, Prada’s Milan show featured actors Kyle MacLachlan and Jeff Goldblum, both old enough to collect social security. The point, the article’s author underscored, is that Prada is recognizing that people are living longer and baby boomers outspend consumers from any other age cohort. Finally, a market-driven decision that recognizes “vintage humans.”

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  We’re not suggesting you buy Prada’s Re-Edition 1995 brushed-leather medium handbag for $3,050. Just smile smugly in appreciation of the fashion brand’s recognition of us in marketing. Never ever be a slave to a fashion trend that looks terrible on you. Clothes in your closet should be items that fit and that you look forward to wearing. Starting to again wear clothes that need dry-cleaning is a positive. Reintroduce yourself to your favorite dry cleaners and keep it in business. They’ve had a tough time surviving Covid since everything we’ve donned during the pandemic can be tossed in the washing machine.

Wrinkled Wisdom – Post Holiday Ruminations

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Hanukkah…Winter Solstice…Christmas…Kwanzaa…New Year’s. Well, we’ve just lived through another holiday season as the Omicron variant surges throughout the world. This year, thankfully, even the grandkids were vaxxed and home tests were available to confirm that no one had to stay in lockup while we partied. We hugged! We stashed the masks!

Wow…some of our friends, who haven’t seen relatives or pals for two years, actually celebrated together. That is, if their flights weren’t canceled because Omicron is hitting airline employees hard. Yes. Omicron! For inquiring minds, the World Health Organization skipped over the Greek alphabet letter Nu because it sounds like “new.” That would be redundant. They skipped over Xi because China’s president is Xi Jinping. That wouldn’t be politically correct. If these variants keep popping up, we’ll need to find a different alphabet!

We all might consider avoiding trips to the mall for a bit since experts predict that about two out of three of us will return at least one gift after the holidays. An alternative? Regifting! Reportedly, the most commonly regifted items are socks, alcohol, and scented candles. Huh? Socks?  We’re not regifting that scotch, for sure. Candles? Maybe. We regift sugar things. The mailman loves candy, and we sure don’t need more calories.

Food, which translates into calories that translate into fat, is a huge part of the holiday season. Some of us look forward to holiday celebrations just because of the specialty foods that will be welcomed on our plates. Some may not be seen or eaten for another year! Home-grown turkey.  Noodle kugel (not kegel).  Yummy mashed potatoes, stuffing, and orange gravy.  Coconut cheesecake.  Carrot cake.  Forget the fruitcake. 

The food is, of course, complemented by multiple wines and our favorite mixed drinks. Yup. More calories. We used to be able to handle three drinks. Now it’s two since hangovers aren’t fun. That’s one of the perks of hosting the party. Yes, you have to cook, prep, and clean up, but you don’t have to worry about driving home.

Then there is the holiday Annual Sugar Exchange. That’s what we call it when the neighbors think it’s neighborly to gift us with their favorite homemade cookies, cakes, or candies, much of which ends up in the compost or trash bin. Of course, that means it’s incumbent upon the receiver to reciprocate with a sugar gift. Oops, be careful about regifting food. One of us once did; then was asked for the recipe. Ouch.

After decades, gifting, in general, has become a challenge.  No one in the family really needs anything, except the grandkids who, of course, want things. So, we’ve established some traditions in giving. It works! We don’t buy that imported canned tuna fish we love because we know we’ll get a bunch for Christmas. We look forward to receiving an expensive scotch we wouldn’t buy but just love. Donations to favorite charities in our name.  Gift cards.  Lottery tickets. 

We had no problem with the answer to a crossword clue recently that read:  Thanks, it’s just what I’ve always wanted. It’s a lie! Well, fib would have fit too. Three in five of us have lied about liking a gift we just opened, according to a recent poll. Guess the others just say thanks and give it away.

One of the positive things about the holidays is that spam calls usually drop. What a relief! But, spam emails increase like crazy. Why? They are trying to dupe us with fake shipping notifications for holiday gifts. With age comes wisdom. If it lands in our junk mail, screw it.

So, our wrinkled wisdom for today? The simplest way to make a person happy with a gift? Ask them what they want. Gifts don’t always have to be a surprise. A wanted gift makes people smile. Hope you got a cute baseball cap this holiday. According to our hairdressers, the pandemic has apparently caused lots of hair loss. Thought that was aging. And, don’t instigate a holiday Sugar Exchange with neighbors. Trust us on this.

Wrinkled Wisdom – Random Thoughts

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Random Thoughs

We had toyed with the idea of writing a selection titled: Ten Top Reasons We’re Glad It Is Not 2020 Anymore….a cumbersome title and a blatant play on David Letterman’s Top Ten Lists.  (So fun not to have to explain who Letterman is to our readers.)  We also had a humorous Top Ten Reasons to Keep Some Masks idea, another cumbersome title.  However, things have not progressed as we had hope, so we nixed both ideas.  Consequently, we are left with… random thoughts.

Wow.  Disruptions in the supply chain are really screwing things up and driving up prices!  Costco is again limiting purchases of some items.  The issue isn’t panic buying.  They just can’t get the products to their stores. Thankfully, it’s not as bad as last year when everyone was hoarding.  Example?  Someone’s mega-package of toilet paper was strewn on the street recently and no one stopped to pick up the rolls!

Speaking of disruptions, if you need to schedule any medical appointments, do it now.  One specialist we called is now taking appointments in March.  March????

As more people are posting on various media, it’s driving up our blood pressure as we are constantly struck by poor grammar and spelling.  Sure, we all make mistakes, but we do know how to use an apostrophe!!!  And, please, there is the correct usage of “regard” versus “regards.” 

Mercedes once ran an ad bragging…More power.  More style.  More technology.  Less doors.  Less doors?  Wait, doors can be counted so, using proper grammar, the ad should have boasted fewer doors.  Some claim that companies use bad grammar to sell their products or services, arguing that it grabs people’s attention causing them to stop and focus on the message.  Nope.  Not buying that.  Just some ad writer’s clever response when caught screwing up.

Viruses constantly change through mutation.  So, we are lobbying for use of the word “mutant” over “variant” to describe the new forms of Covid.  Mutant sounds more negative to us, while variant seems more benign…like abnormal or different.  And, we are sure feeling negative about the Delta mutant taking us backwards.  

Regeneron is available to those over 65, so a positive for oldies who are suffering from breakthrough Covid cases.  Got to look for the positives these days!

Cooking has lost its appeal.  Thank goodness for microwaves and toaster ovens…and delivery!

We are noticing an increase in roadside litter.  Yes, people are back in their cars and going places, but has the pandemic made us less thoughtful about the environment???  “Leave no trace” should be honored everywhere.  Google its principles not the movie.  

We’ve noted that some do not do solitary very well; no wonder it is used as a penal punishment. 

Some people feel masks limit interpersonal communication.  There is truth to that.  Masks muffle sounds and cover facial expressions.  However, after more than a year of this mess, we’ve learned to better read body language, eyebrows, eyes, and upper cheeks, which are keys to understanding the big picture.  Listen for those audible signs of frustration.  Watch for that twinkle in happy eyes.  

The pandemic has spurred gambling from anywhere, any time, and on anything!  Even we can name multiple betting sites available to us on our phones.  And the initial no loss come-ons are way too inviting.  We don’t even understand half the betting terms, and we have limited to no knowledge about some sports.  Arm Wrestling and Rock Paper Scissors Championships! Really?

We’ve watched our screen time increase each week.  Gee…could it be killing time with online games?   Okay, maybe not Minecraft or Fortnight, but solitaire, poker, bridge, Words with Friends, or Candy Kush?  Not telling.

So, our wrinkled wisdom for today?  Continue to wear those darn masks to protect yourself and others from the RISE of the MUTANTS.  Hmmm…in addition to storing personal protective equipment for the next pandemic, maybe the government should offer free American Sign Language classes so we can better communicate when masked?  Beware of online gambling!  Even if you know the terms parlay, bad beat, and vig, you can still lose your shirt.  Consider supply issues and shipping times when planning to cook or bake.  The strawberry jam bundt cake is on hold because the strawberry extract is weeks late.  We’re not advocating hoarding…but.  

Wrinkled Wisdom – Ouch!!!

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What the heck? We had planned to suggest fun ways to use our stash of unused masks instead of tossing them. But, the coronavirus has reared its ugly head again. That nasty, aggressive Delta variant is taking us backwards. We knew we’d need to keep some masks as we planned trips, since wearing them in airports and on planes is still a must. Now, we’re thinking about cancelling the trips. But, didn’t think we’d be pulling them out again when heading to stores and indoor gatherings! We’re pissed.

Oh, no! We freaked when we read the headline: “Sorry, We Aren’t Going Back to the Movies.”  What? For over a year, we’ve been stuck at home watching movies, favoring those with predictable, happy endings. Why would we want to continue to do that?  We love the big screen. Yes, we understand that Hollywood coped with the pandemic by streaming new movies, but do studios still have to stream movies at the same time they release them in theaters??  

There is hope that this studio strategy will taper out and help theaters thrive. A bunch of households have cancelled their streaming services. And, the latest installment in the Fast and Furious franchise broke box office records recently. It debuted exclusively in theaters. While some of us have outgrown movies like Vin Diesel’s Fast and Furious F9, we did find one worth seeing and hit the theater for the first time recently. Fun! We hope more people are hungry to return to theaters, with a mask for sure.  But, most movies today are for young people and kids.  A lot of animated films.  Great for taking the grandkids to the theater, but what about us?  

Gulp!  People drank more and ate more unhealthy food during lockup. Calories! A jokester noted that, after 25 million Europeans died from the bubonic plague in the mid-1300s, Italian Renaissance paintings that followed are full of overweight, naked people lying on couches. A doctor at the time may have contributed to the weighty people in the paintings by recommending they ingest “select wines” as they lived in fear of getting the plague. Or, maybe it was just a time when good health and wealth was firmly associated with “stable plumpness.”  

The big uptick in sales, surprisingly, was in distilled spirits—tequila, gin, and whiskey. People treated themselves by splurging on more expensive brands. Liquor companies also saw a rise in two- to three-ingredient cocktails, selling more “premium mixers” such as cordials, flavored liqueurs, and aperitifs. Sales of vodka mules and other premixed cocktails in cans nearly doubled during the Covid lockdown. 

Takeout cocktails helped bars and restaurants stay in business during the pandemic. At least 33 states temporarily allowed cocktails to-go. The Colorado House of Representatives recently passed a bill extending to-go cocktails from distillery pubs, restaurants, and bars for five years.  Hmmm…any link to the increase in DUIs during the pandemic even as driving decreased?? 

Ouch!  Tattooing is booming and many are asking for Covid-related designs. As someone said, tattoos are the body’s “refrigerator magnets of memories.” The more entertaining include Corona beer bottles in various states of explosion, hand sanitizer, and rolls of toilet paper. A heart surrounded by coronavirus spike proteins is popular. It’s the logo of a group that connects Covid-19 survivors. Tattoos featuring semicolons, interestingly, are some of the most moving.  Coupled with a butterfly wing, it’s a symbol of freedom. Coupled with a heart it represents the love of partners, family, and friends, who helped the person through the pandemic.  But, we truly hope young people consider aging and sagging skin when choosing a location for that tattoo!

Egad!  Fashion torture devices are suddenly looking appealing. After wearing sweats, pajamas, and leggings for over a year, high heels, tight pants, strapless bras, and even pantyhose are looking less painful as we welcome the eventual resurgence of a social life. Fun earrings!  Bracelets and necklaces! Cocktail outfits! Tossing those sweats might be a challenge at first.  Need to reintroduce ourselves to our closets.  And, it’s going to be great for our favorite dry cleaners’ business. The Delta variant might slow us down a bit, but….

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today:  Focus on you! Get those masks out! Go to the movies in the afternoon when theaters are pretty empty!  Suggest ankle tattoos to the kids. Head back to the gym but don’t forget to sanitize that treadmill. Even if you have exercise equipment at home, other body parts need work. Spend more time with friends, which will cause you to laugh five times more, says the research.  Stay optimistic. “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere,” wrote Erma Bombeck.  

Wrinkled Wisdom – Please, Never Say That Again

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Maybe we are just overly sensitive after being confined for almost a year and facing the reality that vaccines for oldies aren’t a ticket to the old normal. But, since we have spent hours and hours at home, we’ve had the opportunity to listen to more reporters, commentators, panelists, talking heads, pundits, and others than we ever imagined. Confession: we often find their word usage both irritating and annoying. 

Does everything need to be dramatized, even weather? It’s going to rain, or we might get two inches of snow. Calm down. Cut the emotion. We’ll live through it. And EVERYTHING is “Breaking News.” And the same news is often hailed as breaking news hours later. How long can breaking news “break?” 

Most annoying; however, are the many overused and annoying words, phrases, and expressions that really make us cringe.  “You know” is one of the top contenders. No, we don’t know. That’s why we are tuning in. “Listen” is another. We’re watching you on television; we are listening.  “If I may” appears to be an attempt to be polite but comes off smug. Of course, you may. The host asked you a question! Use of “kind of, sort of” tells us nothing. Many talking heads end their sentences saying “right?”—attempting to encourage agreement from listeners. Heh…we’re not that easy.

And, then there are the guests who begin their responses with “in my humble opinion?” Ironically, they are not usually humble. “To be honest” also gets to us. Why wouldn’t you be honest? Are you often dishonest? If you hear a guest say “with all due respect” get ready for a fight. Someone is about to be disrespected. Speaking of fights, “let me play devil’s advocate” is a clear sign the guest is about to say something at odds with another panelist or the host.  

We thought we were alone in advocating for banishing some words and phrases. No, we have an ally!  It’s the Banished Words List Committee at Michigan’s Lake Superior State University.  The goal is to “uphold, protect, and support excellence in language by avoidance of words and terms that are overworked, redundant, oxymoronic, clichéd, illogical, nonsensical, and otherwise ineffective, baffling, or irritating.”  LSSU chooses 10 words or phrases annually based on submissions from people around the world.

We were excited until we read the 10 choices from 2020. Number one was COVID-19.  Huh?  Sure, we’re all tired of hearing, reading, and talking about the pandemic, but that doesn’t mean you can just banish the name of the virus. Also listed were words and terms related to the pandemic. The committee advocates banishing expressions like “we’re all in this together.” We agree that the overused phrase “in these uncertain times” should be dumped. It also isn’t a big fan of the term “in an abundance of caution.” Heck, we’ll be tempted to throw caution to the wind after we get vaccinated. 

The committee pointed out that “pivot” can go when describing how everyone must adapt to COVID-19, making the point that basketball players pivot. We seemed to have missed this one, but we are not sports savvy. It has already banished the word “unprecedented” but the word made the LSSU list again last year because of continued misuse in describing events that do have precedent. Like, well, COVID-19. Lastly, we are wondering why “flatten the curve” didn’t make the top 10. It’s not only overused, it’s an oxymoron.  

Oh, speaking of overworked, how many times have we heard a guest say: “That is a great question; so glad you asked.” Is that a euphemism for…gee…will you have me back on your show again soon??

So our Wrinkled Wisdom for today? Turn off the screen and take out your ear buds. Sorry to make your television watching more cringe worthy. But, venting is good for the soul. Do it! We bet you have your own list of words and phrases you never want to hear again! So, start your 2021 list now! Entertain us by putting them in the comments section, and we will all try to comply!  Kind of/sort of.

Wrinkled Wisdom – What Day Is It?

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OMG!  Another month in lock up!  We’ve been at home so long we can’t remember which day of the week it is and were shocked to realize that it’s July.  

As the weeks slog on, many states are further easing restrictions.  We can actually eat at a table in a restaurant, with physical distancing requirements limiting customers, of course.  With bar seating gone, have to order food.  We’d feel guilty taking a table to just drink and drink and drink.  And, we can go back to the gym…by appointment only.  Confession: we did get a manicure/pedicure.  

Coloradans can now travel outside our immediate area to “recreate.”   No, not recreate as in create something again like our pre-Covid lives.  Think short “e” and accent on the first syllable.  We were confused by the word; we can’t even find it in the dictionary.  It almost sounds naughty.  In this context, it refers to recreation.  We can now head to our national parks and go camping.  Stuff like that.  

Reset!  Our governor isn’t talking about more freedom for all Coloradans.  He’s urging “older folks” to stay home.  Screw that.  We are loosening up and seeing family and some friends.  Yes, we are being very careful, physical distancing, and washing our hands every chance we get.  And, of course, wearing masks.  Wait.  The new acting head of the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency, a former banker, just warned governors and mayors that mandating face masks is an open invitation to hold-up artists and will lead to more bank robberies.  And, we thought we were making a joke when we brought that up in a recent Wrinkled Wisdom!

Flour is back on the shelves. Too late.  The novelty of baking is over.  We’re just watching the cooking channel and ordering in.  But, television is disappointing.  We aren’t in the mood for violence, reality shows, and foolish characters we just want to slap.  We want happy endings!  And, have you noticed that everyone in the TV movies is standing way too close to each other?

Yes!  AMC will open most of its theaters in July, but admitted it has “substantial doubt” that it can stay in business after shuttering all of its locations during the pandemic.  One clever theater’s marque reads:  No close encounters of any kind.  

And, it’s going to get worse.  Executives of major television networks are assuming that the dozens of series, whose production has been halted because of the coronavirus pandemic, won’t be returning anytime soon. And, no new shows.  What about all of us couch-potatoing our lives away during the pandemic?  Entertainment has become much more important in lockup.  BC (before Covid), the conversation lulled if you asked someone what they were watching on TV.  Now, AC (after Covid), what are your favorite TV shows follows the requisite how’s the family?  

Will we change behaviors after this ends?  Experts are saying we may never visit a car dealership again, because buying a new car is as easy as ordering groceries or takeout.  Nope.  If we purchase a new car, we will need lots of attention from the salesperson so we can learn about all these new safety technologies and turn off the annoying ones.  Retail stores are filing for bankruptcy.  That doesn’t necessarily mean they will go out of business, but….  More people are in the habit of buying their clothes online.  

Will we ever shake hands again?  When will we feel comfortable getting on an airplane?  

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?   Okay, we admit it.  We are currently out of wisdom.  Just keep thinking this is like being 16 again.  Gas is cheap but we’re grounded for talking back to the parents. 

P.S. Our bank emailed us that June was Elder Financial Protection Month and we should all learn about scammers.  Huh?  We don’t need any tips to help protect us from fraud.  We all know about the grandparents’ scam.

P.P.S. And AARP is warning about “sextortion” scams aimed at oldies.  Sure, as if we’d fall for that one.  Bet the kids would get a laugh though.  No, the kids would definitely get a laugh!

Wrinkled Wisdom: The Times They Are a-Changin’

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The lyrics of this 1964 Bob Dylan song sure ring true today.  “There is a battle outside raging.”  Today, it’s called Covid-19.   Do we oldies have a lot to look forward to as states begin to open up?  What will be a-changin’?   If Colorado’s safer-at-home guidance is the norm, not much!  Seniors must still stay at home unless it’s absolutely necessary.

Yes!  Salons are opening.  We could get a manicure/pedicure!  Necessary?  Pretty much if we want to wear sandals this summer.  We could get our hair cut and colored.  Beards trimmed.  Necessary?  Absolutely.  With selfies down 68 percent since Covid-19 arrived, heading to the hairdresser tops the list.  But, will vanity trump caution?

Bottom line?   We’re still at home.  Still physical distancing.  Still wearing masks.  Still drinking quarantinis.   If corporate America is any clue, we’ll be locked up for a long time.  Google and Facebook just told their employees they can work at home until next year.  Researchers better get hopping on a safe and effective vaccine.

Other things that are a-changin’?  Sports.  We can always watch South Korean baseball stream on ESPN.   But, U.S. baseball, football, and other sports?  Stay tuned.  Like NASCAR and PGA tours, they may return minus fans clapping and hollering. A South Korean football team came up with a unique approach to fill the empty stands…sex dolls.  That didn’t go over well.

Since we all are locked up at home and watching more television, not surprising that the sales of pajamas increased 143 percent in April.  And, it’s been hard not to notice how television advertising has changed.  It’s now “sensitive.”  There’s an endless recitation of phrases like “we’ve always been there for you;” “we may be apart, but we can stay connected;” and “we’ll get through this together.”  

No more Charmin ads going on and on about its ultra-soft product.  Instead, a Cottonelle ad urges Americans to stop hoarding toilet paper and “share a square” with friends and neighbors in need of a roll.  Quilted Northern’s new ad features shots of a production factory and delivery trucks on the road.  The message: “We’re on it.”   About time!

Thankfully, toilet paper can actually be found in most grocery stores now.  While we gazed longingly at the empty shelves for weeks, many people ignored warnings about flushing napkins, wipes, and paper towels down the john.  This led to an economic stimulus for plumbers.  Really!

Another thing that’s a-changin’?  More people are ordering groceries instead of heading to the store.  This is terrific until the wrong peanut butter brand is delivered, and we scrunch our nose in disgust.  Then we learned that the grocery store won’t take returns!   You’ve touched it.  Bummer.

Everyone now assumes you don’t have anything to do you can’t do later and there’s truth in that.  So, when you get a call from someone you haven’t spoken to in years and the conversation goes on forever and ever, just go to your front door and ring your doorbell.  Then say, “Oops, my grocery delivery just arrived.  Have to hang up.”  

And, in this tough time, don’t forget the animals.  If you received that government stimulus check, consider donating to your local zoo.  Zoos depend on ticket sales, not Facebook likes.  They are in trouble.  

So, our Wrinkled Wisdom for today?  The CDC wants us to delay haircuts and manicures—all “non-essential” appointments.  We are thinking twice about their advice when looking in the mirror.  Think twice before booking that Carnival cruise scheduled for August.  Support the Post Office; buy stamps online.  Don’t be embarrassed to admit you’ve added a bird-watching app to your phone.  No, the meat shortage is not a vegetarian plot.  In memoriam, remember Little Richard.  Play some of his music, so popular when we were kids.  His 1970 album “Freedom Blues” seems very appropriate as we struggle with lock up and can’t wait to be free again.

P.S.  Let’s agree to dump the term “social distancing” and replace it with “physical distancing.”  Social distancing sounds, well, antisocial.  We are quite capable of having a conversation while sitting six feet apart.  More than ever, we need to laugh with and vent to our friends in person!   

P.P.S.  Stay healthy and sane!